And thus, OG earns his driving license: Part II

Part I: Read about how OG reaches the DMV office for his test.

I needed 30 correct from 36 to pass the written test.

I had my premonition that things would not go as per (my) plan when the question paper slipped from my hand even before I had read a question. But I dismissed that as a case of “aloo in stomach”.

The very first indication that I am inadequately prepared was when I read the first question. As I had apparently not read page 73 of the DMV hand book (which I got to learn later) I did not know the answer to the simple question. I don’t remember the question but most certainly I did not know the answer!!

In about 5 minutes, I had answered 28 question for which I knew the answers but unfortunately 28 correct would mean that I would be 2 short (minimum had to be 30 correct to pass).  Since I have had experience in such matters, I went about answering the remaining 8 using complex game theory equations. In Malayalam, we call this “Karakki kutthals” (Random Answering).

The kind lady who corrected my paper (yeah it is not even computerized here), told me that I had got 7 wrong!!!!! Would you believe it!!! I had failed by a single mark!!!! Dejected, I told her that I would like to take the test again right away. Being the kind soul she was, she gave me 15 minutes and the handbook to prepare for the test.

Thus, with tail firmly behind back and my friend NM, who kept constantly cursing me for wasting his time, I studied, (like never before) in the DMV office.

This time I passed without flying colors. I got exactly 30 question right!!!! Whew!!! That was close but I had passed!!!!

I took an appointment for the “behind the wheel” test and there ended an eventful day.

And thus the D-Day arrived soon after and I took my rented car to the DMV office. If you have all noticed, male drivers can be slotted into three distinct categories:

Homo Bravious:

These are the real drivers and driving comes a close second to virility in proving their masculinity (for them). If there is a rule, they generally break it. If they have a skill, they flaunt it and they are really good behind the wheels. They also hate automatic transmission and love manual shifts and they don’t take criticism well.

Homo Abstemious:

All their movements are controlled. They are decent behind the wheel and know their limits and they know that they don’t have that spark to be in that elite league.

Homo Stupidious:

They are not meant to drive in a civilized world. This class exists sorely because of some faulty gene and what they lack in driving skills, they make up in boasting.

I (like to think that I) belong to the first group and I hate it if anyone criticizes my driving. The instructor who was supposed to “mark” my driving was an old lady of 60. She could not see without her glasses and she was slow in giving instructions. She first asked me to drive in a residential neighborhood where there was not a single living being in sight. As any good Indian, I pushed the car to the speed limit but never crossed it. I made sharp turns when instructed. All that was done to impress her and soon after 15 minutes, the test got over. She told me that I had made a total of 9 mistakes which was less than the limit of 15 and thus I passed the test!!!

She also told me that I was not scanning the roads enough (in an empty neighborhood). I wanted to tell her that if I scanned more, I would have spotted all bacterial and microbial life forms as well but all I said was “Ok Mam”!!!

She handed me the evaluation sheet which I have not been able to decipher even now. I suppose the Indus civilization script would be easier than this to decipher!!!

 And thus, OG got his license and with it, lessons about life as well!!!