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And thus, OG earns his driving license: Part II

May 1, 2009

Part I: Read about how OG reaches the DMV office for his test.

I needed 30 correct from 36 to pass the written test.

I had my premonition that things would not go as per (my) plan when the question paper slipped from my hand even before I had read a question. But I dismissed that as a case of “aloo in stomach”.

The very first indication that I am inadequately prepared was when I read the first question. As I had apparently not read page 73 of the DMV hand book (which I got to learn later) I did not know the answer to the simple question. I don’t remember the question but most certainly I did not know the answer!!

In about 5 minutes, I had answered 28 question for which I knew the answers but unfortunately 28 correct would mean that I would be 2 short (minimum had to be 30 correct to pass).  Since I have had experience in such matters, I went about answering the remaining 8 using complex game theory equations. In Malayalam, we call this “Karakki kutthals” (Random Answering).

The kind lady who corrected my paper (yeah it is not even computerized here), told me that I had got 7 wrong!!!!! Would you believe it!!! I had failed by a single mark!!!! Dejected, I told her that I would like to take the test again right away. Being the kind soul she was, she gave me 15 minutes and the handbook to prepare for the test.

Thus, with tail firmly behind back and my friend NM, who kept constantly cursing me for wasting his time, I studied, (like never before) in the DMV office.

This time I passed without flying colors. I got exactly 30 question right!!!! Whew!!! That was close but I had passed!!!!

I took an appointment for the “behind the wheel” test and there ended an eventful day.

And thus the D-Day arrived soon after and I took my rented car to the DMV office. If you have all noticed, male drivers can be slotted into three distinct categories:

Homo Bravious:

These are the real drivers and driving comes a close second to virility in proving their masculinity (for them). If there is a rule, they generally break it. If they have a skill, they flaunt it and they are really good behind the wheels. They also hate automatic transmission and love manual shifts and they don’t take criticism well.

Homo Abstemious:

All their movements are controlled. They are decent behind the wheel and know their limits and they know that they don’t have that spark to be in that elite league.

Homo Stupidious:

They are not meant to drive in a civilized world. This class exists sorely because of some faulty gene and what they lack in driving skills, they make up in boasting.

I (like to think that I) belong to the first group and I hate it if anyone criticizes my driving. The instructor who was supposed to “mark” my driving was an old lady of 60. She could not see without her glasses and she was slow in giving instructions. She first asked me to drive in a residential neighborhood where there was not a single living being in sight. As any good Indian, I pushed the car to the speed limit but never crossed it. I made sharp turns when instructed. All that was done to impress her and soon after 15 minutes, the test got over. She told me that I had made a total of 9 mistakes which was less than the limit of 15 and thus I passed the test!!!

She also told me that I was not scanning the roads enough (in an empty neighborhood). I wanted to tell her that if I scanned more, I would have spotted all bacterial and microbial life forms as well but all I said was “Ok Mam”!!!

She handed me the evaluation sheet which I have not been able to decipher even now. I suppose the Indus civilization script would be easier than this to decipher!!!

 And thus, OG got his license and with it, lessons about life as well!!!

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30 Comments leave one →
  1. May 1, 2009 5:01 am

    LOL!! 😀 OG your evaluation sheet is a sight to behold! 😀
    reminds me of the way my teachers used to flunk me in certain tests…and I never got to know the marks coz of the bad handwriting:D

    Congratulations!!!you did it!:)
    Now O friend -belonging-to-category-One 😀 do not try to impress the senoritas too much 😀

    but seriously Congratulations again! 🙂
    OG: 🙂 LOL!!! yeah, same here, I never got to know the marks…. actually never bothered to check!!!
    Senoritas do not pay attention to Desis with indian accent!!! 😛 😛 and I doubt if they would like the car (on previous post) 😛 😛
    Now I am going to walk around saying “Hey Baby, what are you doing”, joey (friends) style 😛 😛

    Thank!!

    • May 1, 2009 7:47 am

      he he he 😛

      OG: 😛 😛

    • May 1, 2009 9:45 am

      ROFL!!@Joey’s style 😀
      trying to imagine it 😀

      you sure they wont run off? 😛

      OG: 🙂 They probably would!!! and call “911” as well 😛

      • May 1, 2009 11:18 am

        Omigod!!! ROFL trying to imagine you doing a ‘Joey’ 🙂 Pls, pls let us know your success rate too 🙂 That could be another series of posts 🙂

        OG: 😛 😛 yeah, it will be

      • May 2, 2009 6:19 am

        You can offer them food you know 😉 and sex 😀

        OG: my grandmother would say “Abishhtu Abishhtu”!!!! 😉

        • Badz permalink
          May 2, 2009 11:34 pm

          LoL!
          OG: 😛 😛

  2. Mystery permalink
    May 1, 2009 6:01 am

    Congratulations!!
    you failed by one mark!! that must have been very bad 😦
    and lol at the classification and your reply to indyeah’s comment above.

    OG: 😛 😛 thanks!!! LOL

  3. May 1, 2009 6:16 am

    you failed ?????

    did u ????

    OG: 😛 I passed in the end!

  4. sraboneyghose permalink
    May 1, 2009 7:05 am

    Was the in a dark red?
    OG: Bones, did not get your question?

  5. Badz permalink
    May 1, 2009 7:09 am

    Hahahahaha OG! I’m a better driver than you. 😛 I got 31 out of 36 FIRST TIME and only 4/5 mistakes in the practical. 😀

    OG: 😛 😛 I will not accept that as I come in the first category…. 🙂 LOL!!!!!

    • Badz permalink
      May 2, 2009 11:36 pm

      Well OG. I’m a girl. You know what they say about women drivers and all. 🙂 So I think its pretty good. 😛
      OG: 😛 LOL, yeah you have a point!!!!!! lol

  6. May 1, 2009 7:41 am

    Not computerized in LA? We live in a village and it is a computerized test here. 😀

    “She also told me that I was not scanning the roads enough (in an empty neighborhood). I wanted to tell her that if I scanned more, I would have spotted all bacterial and microbial life forms as well but all I said was “Ok Mam”!!!”

    May be she was miffed because you didn’t scan her. 😆

    Congratulations now go drive and scream Yo Rekha!
    OG: hahahahaha!!! good one!!! but sorry I am not into elderly women!!!! 🙂 😛 😛 😆
    now I need to buy a car….

    • May 1, 2009 9:46 am

      rofl!! 😀 yeah OG ever think about that possibility? 😉

      OG: 🙂 I honestly dont want to 😉

    • Solilo permalink
      May 1, 2009 7:34 pm

      See. No wonder she was miffed. That vacant street she took you to and you didn’t give her any bhaav 😆

      Isn’t age just a number? 60 or 16. Ha….ha…ha..a

      OG: No comments!!!!! 😛 LOL

  7. May 1, 2009 9:56 am

    Yo, aliya 😛 !! Congratulations!
    Now you are an Ameerigan driver :D!

    Time to go get yourself promoted in the from Bravious species, dont you think?

    Enjoy the time, driving around, so long as you dont drive yourself around the bend [and the others there, too] 🙂
    OG: 😛 LOL…. yes, I can drive now… 🙂 and yes, I am in the first category!!! and LOL about last line!!!

  8. May 1, 2009 11:38 am

    Wow!! Failing by one mark is the worst !!! But good that she allowed you a second chance 🙂

    Congratulations!!!! So now you can zoom around with an American license:)

    LOL at the types of drivers:) Your evaluation sheet sure looks quite complex!!!

    OG: I need to buy a car!!! 😛

  9. May 1, 2009 1:34 pm

    ROFLMAO!!! 😀
    omg u wont believe it… my laughter cud be heard so loudly outside that my mom came to chk on me whether i was crying or laughing!! lol this is ur best post yet (IMO) and i m at a loss to pinpoint what part i liked the most! the wait for the 2nd post was surely worth it 😀

    paper slipping from ur hand before starting, karakki kuthals, the homo classifications, sighting microbes and bacteria or the best part yet, the undecipherable parchment picture at the end. too good!

    and a hearty congrats for passing this test… u deserve it lol kudos!
    OG: hahahahaha 😛 you sure do have a loud laugh 😛 and Thanks!!! Thanku thanku!!!!!

    • May 1, 2009 2:59 pm

      of course my laughter is loud… i believe laughter shud b full-throated and genuine instead of …um… demure and suppressed? 😀
      (kettittu pedichu odan thonunundenkil paranjekkane…. volume kurakkam… 😉 )
      OG: HAHAHAHA… yes laughter should be loud!!!
      and yes, pedichilla, evadae nyaan ketiila… 🙂 so no problems…. hehehehehehehehe

  10. May 1, 2009 6:20 pm

    Dude, sorry, dudaaa, you try to impress a 60 year old???? and she took you a street where there wasnt any living being??? please tell me, its just for the license !!! plsss !!!

    and brother, you have just revealed your signature here ! do you have any idea that this commentor is a big time faking-signature specialist ?? Buhahahahhahaha !!!! 😀

    Btw, that is one helluva evaluation ! I guess, just like you, even she was doing Karakki Kutthals ! 😀
    OG: dai, jeevichu poogatte aliyaaaaaaaa!!!! and regarding signature faking, as Vijay says, “nee padicha scholle naan headmaster da” 😛 😛
    yeah, maybe she was also doing that!!!! 😛

  11. May 1, 2009 6:46 pm

    Congratulations OG 🙂 You were cool to ask to take the test again!

    LOL @ the classification 🙂 I think all Indians fall in the first category 🙂

    And you passed with ALMOST flying colours??? ! 🙂
    OG: 😛 yeah, close one but passed in the end!!!

  12. May 2, 2009 6:23 am

    ha ha ha that was funny!

    @ cramming in 15 min he he he 😉 like a true Engg student 😀

    @60 year old lady.. poor her! you know old wine and all.. you might actually enjoy u know 😛 😛

    @that evaluation sheet looks like my question paper 😀 after exams 😀
    OG: 🙂 😛 why is everyone obsessed with 60 years olds!!!!!!

  13. May 2, 2009 7:26 am

    The way the roads are here, you can even ask a new born to drive and he wont have any problems! And you did 9 mistakes?? Did you ask her what were those?
    OG: if you can decipher that answer sheet, you will have your answer!!1!!

  14. J P Joshi permalink
    May 2, 2009 6:08 pm

    You already have an alternate career in story telling, fact or fiction both – you are doing really well in that too. You are what I would term as a scientific artist.

    Congratulations on following most rules. She’s marked you off 3 times for speed and 6 times for traffic check. In your driving test your head is expected to swivel from left to right and you are even supposed to check the side mirrors, which are of course kept folded in India, lest they be damaged by a driver driving scrapingly close or when you feel like nudging up somebody from the side.

    Anyway, now’s your chance to make the most of your driving licence.
    OG: THanks Sir…… yes, but all those mistakes were forced upon me…. especially in an empty road!!! 🙂 and yes, I will make maximum use of this!!!

  15. May 3, 2009 12:49 am

    u had a paper test ! which century is this dmv in ? in LA ?– we didn’t have a paper test as long as 2001 !

    OG: LA seeme to be lagging in such stuff 🙂 I had a computerized test in Cochin, India for my indian license!!!! 😛 😛

  16. May 3, 2009 6:52 am

    Enna thambi..Car vangeettingla?

    OG: ella akka, car pathunderuken!!! 😛 😛 budget is 3000 dollars!!! 😛 😛 😛

  17. May 4, 2009 6:12 am

    Clap clap clap…congrats OG…Got mine last week do,but if i put a post about it the page wud be filled with expletives…and now it has a smart card embedded so I am showing off saying i am a smart driver 🙂

    OG: HAhahahahahaha 😛 yeah, you must be one smart driver? how is the play coming along?

  18. Nancy permalink
    May 4, 2009 8:32 am

    Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U gave a humorous account of ur experience, but I’m sure u were more prepared than u r saying here;-P.

    The whole process sounds so logical & easy if 1 is prepared.

    The process here in Dubai is so terrible & horrible & so money-oriented & & & everything terrible :-(….seriously they give DL after we go thru some tapasya.
    Some people here have spent 60,000-80,000[in indian rupees] but still havent got it.
    And life in this desert without a vehicle is very difficult:-(.
    OG: Yeah, what is a story without exaggeration 😛 i did not know that is so bad in dubai…. 60,000 RS!! WOOAHH…. that is a lot! and do you have a license NAncy?

    • May 6, 2009 4:30 am

      No OG….like u said if 1 drives in India then it is very difficult to get a license elsewhere coz we havent the sligtest idea regarding rules.

      I got my license in India at 18 & so u can imagine;-P.

      I did go for driving classes here in Dubai but failed twice then went away to India for 4-5 months. After I came back I didnt feel like trying again……….now I regret tht.
      But I dont feel like attempting again…sort of lost the nerve;-(

      And oh, 40,000-60,000 is usual…I know people who have spent more;-S

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