When we attended our friend’s girlfriend’s cousin’s wedding reception.

Back in those days when we were young and immature students in Trivandrum; we were always hungry and we also had a fine taste in dining. That was a problem as we were often broke.

We used to live a royal life during the first half the month, after getting our monthly stipend from home but during the second half, and more towards the end of the month, we literally used to hunt for money.

The situation towards the end of the month used to be a lot like this, “Ok guys, we are 5 blokes and we have ten rupees in total; which means 2 thattu dosas per person.”

And we used to eat those 2 small dosas with a liter of sambar and chutney (which came free with the dosas) to fill our stomachs.

And we used to resort to a few tricks to get by during those harsh times, including conducting “pirivu” (collection) from juniors.

One of the other standard procedures that we followed was going for wedding lunches; even of complete strangers. We loved being the “wedding crashers”. And when we went for such weddings, we followed a few protocols.

1. Objective was very simple. Go in, eat and get out.
2. Minimize the time spent inside; efficiency being the key.
3. Move in packs of 2-3 and be as inconspicuous as possible; stealth being the keyword.
4. Always be prepared for a quick getaway in case of trouble.

 And in the same vein, we never missed the opportunity to self-invite ourselves to weddings of people we knew, of friend’s relatives, of friend’s friends etc. We were really secular. It did not matter if it was a Hindu or a Christian or a Muslim wedding.

And we preferred this arrangement as it was tension free unlike the earlier mentioned one.

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One night in college, during one of our Friday celebration, Mr. RM in a moment of weakness, told us that this girlfriend had invited him to her cousin’s wedding reception, the next night at the Mascot hotel at PMG, TVM.

Mr. RM told us that he was really looking forward to the event as he did not get to spend enough time with her; which was really hard to figure out, because he spent his every “college hour” with her.

Mr. RM, who had accompanied us on multiple “wedding crashing” missions, did not realize that we would do the same to him, the next day!!!! But there was a small problem. The girl, his girlfriend, did not like us. We knew this, as she had made it sufficiently clear to Mr. RM.

“I don’t want you walking around with those wretched mechanical students”, she had told him specifically.

But, since we were “thick skinned, warm blooded” humanoids, we collectively voted that we would risk it.

So the next day, at around 6 PM, Mr. RM came smartly dressed to our favorite hangout spot “Sallap”, for a cup of tea.

He was surprised to find about 10 blokes all dressed up and ready to go as well.

“Where are you guys going?” he asked.

“We are just going to the city”, we told him.

“Ooho; where?” he asked.

“We are going to the Mascot Hotel. We heard that there is a party there.” we told him nonchalantly.

It took him a couple of seconds to digest and process the fact that we were going with him.

The poor man was shocked, and he tried his best to explain it to us. But we were not to be deterred that day.

And so, we all reached the Mascot Hotel later that evening. His girlfriend’s smile soon turned into a frown when she saw so many of us, uninvited guests. After making some small “awkward” talk, we went into the hall.

The poor girl was decent enough to not throw us out!!!!

One of the first things that you always need to do in a mallu get-together is simple. Observe the male-female ratio in the hall. If this ratio is majorly skewed towards the female gender, then you can be sure that there is a make-shift “bar” setup in one of the adjacent rooms!!!

We noticed this and we then pestered the girl to introduce us to the bride’s father. The poor girl was decent enough to do this for us.

After the formal round of introduction where she introduced us as her “friends”, the father of the bride soon asked us what we hoped to hear.

He said, “Makkalle………. oru ‘small’ adikkan thallparyam undo?” (Kids, do you guys wish to have a drink?)

“Yes” we all said in union.

And so, we all made our way to the makeshift bar to enjoy!!!!! Off course leaving poor Mr. RM behind with his girlfriend.

It was salt rubbed into his wounds. The poor guy could not leave the girl nor did he wish to miss out on the fun.

Even though, technically the offer given to us was to have “oru small” (one 30 ml), it soon degenerated into a drinking competition as most mallu blokes are proud sponges when the occasion demands. 😉

Later on that night, after having a good time and generally creating some small kalippus, we made our way back to college.

We knew that the girl did not think very highly of us. But after that incident, she positively refused to talk to us for months……………………

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PS: This weekend, I spoke to Mr. RM and his wife (yes!!!!! the same girl). Remarkable is the fact that there is not a single shred of hate now.

Time, really can solve those deepest rifts……………………………… 😛