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Airport Rage

July 6, 2011

It was a 3 day weekend here in America and my friend Mr. FR decided that he would come over to the Bay Area since he had nothing better to do in LA.

Last week, Mr. FR called and said, “Dai, I am coming over on Saturday. Do you mind if I book my tickets to the San Francisco Airport instead of San Jose as it is cheaper?

And to people who do not know, the SFO Airport is about 45 minutes away from my place (Sunnyvale) and SJC Airport, about 5 minutes.

I replied, “Not a problem”.

So Mr. FR booked his ticket and forwarded the mail to me. Being the busy man that I can be, I noted the arrival time (in the mail) and nothing else.

So on Saturday, I got up early and timed my arrival to the SFO airport to match Mr. FR’s arrival time, 12:15 PM. Just as I was about to drive into the airport, Mr. FR called, “I am standing outside at the arrival gate.”

I replied, “Perfect timing (glowing with pride as I was on time); I will be there in a minute.”

I made my first pass through the arrival section, and did not spot him. So I made my second pass and still could not spot him. And then, I made my third pass and realized that something was wrong.

I called him immediately, “Dai, I have made 3 passes through the arrival gates and did not spot you.

Mr. FR was mildly angered when I suggested that he might have made a mistake by standing at the wrong place and replied, “Nope. I know that I am at the correct arrival gate and I have been watching every single car. You just did not pass this way!

Ok!” I replied and decided to park the car and then find him.

Again for people who do not know, the parking in the SFO airport has got to be the most complicated parking lot in the entire world; designed with a singular objective to confuse the common man and cause brain damage! And it took me a good 20 minutes to find an empty parking spot.

I called him and said, “Dai, I have parked my car now. Can you come over to parking lot F/G-35, level 4?

He said that he would give it a try and after 5 minutes, I got a call from him, “Aliya; there is nothing here which even remotely looks like parking lot F/G-35, level 4!”

This guy is really pathetic; what a loser,” I thought to myself and I said (with a condescending tone which I like to use in such cases), “Ok machu; go back to the terminal. I will come there!”

It took me a good 10 minutes to walk from parking lot F-G-35, level 4 to the domestic terminal. But still I could not spot him.

He claimed that he was standing at the correct terminal; I claimed that I was standing at the correct terminal. We tried a variety of things but we just could not spot one another!

And thus, we wasted more time, walked a lot more; got irritated and finally, we were exhausted, almost waiting for “rapture” when suddenly Mr. FR asked (with an almost pleading tone), “Dai, I hope that you are at the San Jose Airport!”

And that was when the penny dropped! We were at different airports. He had booked his ticket to the San Jose Airport and merely thought that forwarding the mail to me was good enough!

Apparently, it was not! It was 1:45 PM by the time we realized that we were at different airports.

He then said, “Kollam aliya; so what do we do now?” He actually took about 10 seconds (I counted) to finish the “kollam aliya” part of his line.

I really am perceptive when it comes to deciphering such things. The line was said in a tone which really meant, “You Dumb F; when are you going to stop being such an idiot?

I replied very slowly, “Take a taxi and wait outside my house. I will be back in about an hour!

Athu sheri” he said and then ventured to say a few other things; certain unprintable things, which I will exclude from this post in the interest of the general public!

The lesson I learnt that day: “Airport Rage” can certainly turn a seemingly docile mallu into a hate spewing maniac (for about 15 seconds)!

The rest of the weekend was pretty awesome. I saw T-3 (was ok) and also saw “Delhi Belly” (was awesome). On Monday, I managed to drop him at the correct airport for his return flight. We Sagittarius dudes tend to botch up many things, but we live and learn!

And if anyone is interested in the map/airport locations:

3 Comments leave one →
  1. lakshmy permalink
    July 7, 2011 6:36 am

    nice description of communication errors………….good….i like it…..
    OG: Danks! 🙂

  2. July 8, 2011 12:26 pm

    Poor Mr FR!! When he learn to pick his friends wisely?

    Anyway, this gladdens me. Now you can stop tormenting folks who merely miss by a terminal.

  3. Rajani Ram permalink
    September 22, 2011 6:20 pm

    hahaha…. soo funny!!…

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