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A Haalthy Dose of “Viplavam” for a Midnight Snaaku!

May 29, 2010

Viplavam: Revolution

Quotation: Warning/Supari

Mr. KJ: My good Friend, the main protagonist of this story, described in detail in this link.

I was reading up an article about DYFI in Kerala yesterday when I got reminded of this incident, which happened, many years back and I had to pen it down.

It was my friend’s sister’s marriage and as a gracious host, he had invited a group of us to partake in the mallu festivities that generally unfold on the night before the wedding. As very gracious and decent guests, we could not refuse that offer of free food and drinks. After all, certain traditions could not be broken; especially when my friend’s dad was the sponsor.

It was a grand party that we had at the “Rama Varma Club” near the Durbar Hall Ground, Cochin and it was also a night that many of us would never forget. Since my friend’s dad was the sponsor of the festivities, my friend had left no stones unturned at the party. As the evening progressed, the 20 member gang which initially started on the festivities dwindled to about 12. A couple of my friend’s old school buddies had also come to partake in the “festivities” and they seemed like decent blokes and we bonded well.

By about 3 AM, all of us (last standing men) were feeling particularly happy and sane and that was when “it” started. Mr. X, one of my friend’s old school mates said something about Communism and Mr. KJ, the inimitable jango, stood up (for no reason whatsoever) and said, “The CPI (M) sucks”.

The look on Mr. X’s face was one of shock; as if he was some long lost descendent of Marx himself. As we later found out, the dude was only related to a local DYFI chapter. The argument soon snowballed into a big argument and Mr. KJ was in his elements.

One of the problems when it comes to having a sane “argument” with Mr. KJ is that it can never be classified as an “argument”. At one point, he might agree with you and when you think you have convinced him, he would just say something totally opposite. In an argument, he might suddenly quote examples which are totally unrelated to the subject with confidence and in most cases that I have seen; the original matter is almost always forgotten. In a few other cases that I have seen, we know that the argument is going to get personal when he starts going on a tangent about the behavioral/cultural characteristics of the other bloke’s ancestors.

If you had asked Mr. KJ about his political standing, he would have said, “I am a pucca communist, but (a dramatic pause)……….I don’t see myself as a communistic communist (with exaggerated hand movements to show his intent)…… but actually more like a capitalistic communist, who believes in socialism more.”

Try figuring that one out……..

We knew these details beforehand but poor comrade Mr. X did not.

In a bid to safeguard the dignity of his chosen ideological belief, he tried really hard to convince KJ but nope, KJ would not have any of it. A variety of topic were discussed right from the CPI (M) to the Kuomintang party; the fall of USSR to the Cold war; ancient Spartan society to democratic Athens; the Nazis to the fascist; Entropy to Das Kapital; Stalinism to Trotskyism.

In a bid to lay emphasis on what he said, KJ also utilized the English punch dialogs that he had learnt by watching Malayalam films like “Naaseating Megalomaniac”, “Glarified stenographer”, “Blistering barnacles”, “Get out house”, “waachdog of society”, “Degenerating decencies”, “wicked dirty game plan” etc etc………….

The argument was actually funny to start with. All of us added fuel to the fire and contributed whenever we felt that they were giving up but after 15 minutes, we got bored of it but unfortunately not those two.

The argument lasted a full hour!!!!!!!! But the heroes were not ready to back down. The argument had by then drifted to “Poland and Yugoslavia”.

Finally at 4 AM, we knew that we only had an option left with us. We kicked Mr. KJ into a different room and kicked Mr. X out.

When Mr. X voiced his protest when he was being unceremoniously taken out by the scruff of his collar, we told him that he was breaking the first unwritten rule of commies.

And what is that?” he asked.

“We are the acting politburo here. As a commie, you should know that. You don’t dare question us,” and then we booted him out to the street.

We missed the wedding the next day morning but got up in time for lunch.

Mr. X, along with other esteemed members of his respectable party, in other words, his street gang had also come as a show for force and solidarity. Comrade Mr. X also seemed genuinely concerned about the well being of my legs if I set foot near Maharajas College, Cochin.

In the end, all they did was eat lunch, exchange a few cordial quotations and leave as we numbered about 25 healthy blokes that day.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. May 29, 2010 1:58 am

    “As very gracious and decent guests”…….well the moment you said DECENT, I picked up my lungi and tied it tightly, before embarking on commenting :mrgreen:
    OG: hahaha 😛
    I don’t know why? 🙄 but i seriously like your Mr. KJ 😛 when you think of it, he is the one who always leads you guys to some verbal adventures 😛
    OG: he is a great dude!!!!!! 😛
    Ps: I thought guys talked about anything except politics during a wedding festivities *sakshi scratches her head*
    OG: i thought so too………….. but I guess the topic was such 😛

    • May 29, 2010 8:54 am

      “well the moment you said DECENT, I picked up my lungi and tied it tightly, before embarking on commenting” 🙂
      OG: 😛 😛 😛

  2. May 29, 2010 4:52 pm

    Arre OG bhai, you are back!!! with a bang, if I may add. Super duper funny post. Esp the line on socialistic communist 🙂 Sounds like a movie flick 🙂 You and your gang remind me so much of Three Men in a Boat.
    So, are u back to Blogging for good? Or will you do a disappearing act again?!
    OG: haha 😛 not back as yet 😛 and thanks 😛

  3. May 30, 2010 4:37 pm

    LOL 🙂 nice to see you back 🙂
    OG: 😛 😛

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