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Bachelors Guide to Cooking!!!!

May 31, 2009

After four months in America, I have now come up with a sure shot guide that will help all Indian bachelors all over the globe, who are desperately looking for a life line when it comes to cooking. This simple guide has been tried and tested to stand the test of time, mental patience and tolerance levels of your tongue and the actual cooking process has been studied, streamlined to only take an hour.

If you have never tried cooking and are afraid that you will burn the whole house down, you most definitely have to read this. If you are sick and tired of eating poor quality burgers or slimy take-away noodles or plain maggi, you need not worry; the great chef OG is here to help drive away those fears. You just need to dive into the world of cooking and leave the rest to fate. Do not let failures or burnt curries deter you.

But first, you will need a few things as mentioned below:

  • A good fat cookbook with thick strong binding.
  • The holy trinity namely Yellow, Red and Garam Masala powder. You will not need daniya powder.
  • Mustard seeds (Kaduggu), Urad dal and oil (can be refined, cultured or sophisticated).
  • Onions, green chilies, salt and achaar.
  • Frying pan (with an almost airtight cover) and other basic kitchen utensils.
  • And finally, the star being the vegetable for the day.

The other optional ingredient would be either garlic/ginger pieces or plain ginger-garlic paste. I personally don’t use or like both of them.

The Actual Cooking Process:

The vegetable for the day is Tindora or Kovakka as we call it!

If you want to use garlic and ginger, then take the heavy cookbook and beat them into a thick paste. Please don’t be gentle on them, they won’t feel it.

Next in the cooking process would the vegetable processing. Take the onions first. One has to be careful when dealing with the onions, especially the white onions you get in America. When they get wary, they release a lot of eye paining liquid as a defense mechanism. Here we either use the KGB method or the CIA method to torture them. First, you need to remove the outer covering of the onion.

Now you can either drown them in water for atleast 3 minutes till they stop complaining much like how the KGB treats people in Siberia or hold them under running water for 3 minutes much like how the CIA treats its torture subjects. Finally, place them on the cutting board.

Since I value my fingers a lot, I have come up with an ingenious method that I employ to cut most vegetables which also saves time. Hold the knife as shown in the figure and close your eyes.

cutting 

Now move the knife up and down at various angles for atleast 4 minutes without opening your eyes. Thus, by the end of 4 minutes, you will have your cut onions. Please proceed the same way with the “vegetable” as well!!! Now when that is also done, cut the green chilies (about 4) into minute small pieces and Voila, we are done!!!!

Now for the actually cooking, we will use the “cook by steam rather than flame method”.

Place the frying pan and turn the heat on to medium. When the pan is sufficiently hot (Guys, please don’t touch and test), pour some oil into the pan. Throw in some mustard seeds and the urad dal into it as well. Once they start spluttering about the place, put in the chopped chili pieces in and wait for 2 minutes. After two minutes, now throw in the cut onions (also put in garlic if you are using it) and start stirring. Let the onions pieces roast in peace for about 5-10 minutes till they start blushing (turn brown).

Now thrown in the vegetable and stir it till everything is properly mixed. Next throw in the salt and yellow powder and some water in this stage and close the frying pan with the lid. Do not touch this for atleast 20 minutes in which the vegetable gets cooked in the steam.

cooking

This is the important stage. If you are having rice and want some gravy, pour in ample quantities of water or “cooked yellow dal” and let it all simmer. If you are having chapatti, then don’t add anything.

After those 20 minutes, throw in some red powder and some garam masala powder and stir for a couple of minutes and the cooking is done!!!

Taste to see if what you have made is edible or not!!! Finally have the sabzi with lot of achaar!! It will mask the taste of the poorly cooked vegetable!!!!

Cooking has never been easier!!!! And now, I am off for my Sunday siesta with the cookbook as my pillow!!!!

finalproduct

PS: The important thing is to not use a spoon to measure anything. Use only your eye and your common sense if you have it and this process is guaranteed to work with most vegetables.

PPS: You can also add a combination of vegetables!

PPPS: if you want to make chicken curry, watch this video!!!!

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37 Comments leave one →
  1. May 31, 2009 10:46 pm

    me first!! 😛
    OG: 😛 😛 😛

  2. May 31, 2009 11:14 pm

    LoL! WoW OG. It actually looks good. I’m ammused at a lot of stuff. And chopping the veg and onions was the funniest. 😛
    BUT hats off to you. Not bad in 4 months. 🙂
    OG: 😛 we live and learn!!! try and test!!!! fail and succeed!!!!

    • May 31, 2009 11:50 pm

      LoL! I know. You remind me from the time I started cooking. Although I had my mum supervising me when I learnt so it wasn’t too bad. 😛
      BUT dad’s attempt without supervision was scary. He tried to make cabbage and he burnt it slightly. Bless him!! BUT we were nice and said it’s fine & nice and ate it. 🙂
      OG: 😛 good that you appreciated the effort 😛 😛 😛

  3. monikamanchanda permalink
    June 1, 2009 3:13 am

    that actually looks pretty yummy 🙂
    OG: 😛 thanku thanku!!!!!!! btw, what is your blog url????

  4. June 1, 2009 4:26 am

    Aliya U do all this……..kudos 2 U man 🙂 …. at least u gave a try…… ..nyways i’m sure u r gonna get minimum 12 proposals in a week…..
    OG: 😛 hahahahahahahaha, you must be kidding 😛
    from my side, I’m a privileged guy… even though i’m away from my native,i have a sweet sister who take care of my food 🙂 .. anyways I already copied U’r recipe to my mail id…….I will give a try one day 🙂 ……
    OG: 😛 you must be blessed to have someone take care of your food…. .and yes, Thanki Thanku!!!!!!

  5. Quirky Indian permalink
    June 1, 2009 4:27 am

    OG Saar, Brilliant! Vary Brilliant. You should have your own TV show. 🙂
    OG: 😛 I dont think so 😛
    Let me guess: do most people who visit you prefer calling for food?
    OG: hahahahaha, actually people run away when it is my turn to cook 😛 😛 😛
    Cheers,

    Quirky Indian

  6. June 1, 2009 4:47 am

    Arre wah! which girl is now going to reject a proposal from you. Ms. Z here comes OG!

    That looks good. Did it taste good too? 😛
    OG: 😛 my roomies went ga-ga over it 😛 😛 😛
    I was impressed myself…… 😛 Yes, it was good!!!!!!! especially because I took the effort to clean the stove to take photo 😛 😛 LOL!!!!

  7. June 1, 2009 4:56 am

    You should rename yourself as Ajit Bourdain…The food looks cooked and yummy! Now its time to try another recipe…After you’ve mastered that, let us know…
    OG: 😛 LOL!!! Ajit bourdian!!! LOL I love his shows………. I am comfortable with this recipe….. I call it OG’s technique…… 😛
    Your adaptation of the washboarding technique is good – Cheney and Bush will be proud of you!!!
    OG: 😛 Thanku Thanku!!!

  8. June 1, 2009 5:07 am

    Its looks yummy dude.. great that you are cooling well… now Ms.Z has no reason to reject you 🙂
    OG: 😛 Thanku machi!!!!!!! 😛 yeah, she should not have any reason now 😛

  9. June 1, 2009 5:30 am

    That actually does not look all that bad 😀
    OG: 😛 it tasted good 😛 😛

  10. June 1, 2009 5:49 am

    When I start to cook, I run into some or other problems. Like the gas being over, like rice not there (I lost a packet of rice, can you believe it??), too much of insects in the rice, forgetting to buy onion etc. I always have bread and noodles as back up and invariably end up eating the back up as primary dish!
    OG: 😛 LOL!!!!!! best of luck, is all I can say!!!
    I have a cylindrical closed container with a mixie type of knives inside and a handle to rotate outside. So, you can put the onion inside and rotate it very fast to get chopped onions without the tears.
    OG: 😛 I need to buy that thing…………. 😛 Thanks
    Destination Infinity

    • June 1, 2009 6:24 am

      DI How do you lose a packet of rice? 😀
      OG: 😛 LOL!!!! ahahahahhaha

    • June 1, 2009 10:09 am

      I prefer manual cutting.. tears are good for your eyes 😉

    • June 1, 2009 3:13 pm

      I have a food processor which cuts my onions and veggies for me 🙂 Talk about lazy 🙂
      OG: 😛 I shoudl buy that thing…..

  11. June 1, 2009 6:09 am

    oil (can be refined, cultured or sophisticated).

    😆
    trust you to think of such insane things 😀
    OG: 😛 hahahahahahahhahahha

    I was wondering why a good fat cookbook with strong binding:D
    And then you made that clear too 😀
    OG: 😛 yeah, had to use it somewhere 😛 😛

    <em.Sufficiently hot and test?
    Guys please don’t touch and test?
    😀 😀
    OG this warning could only have been required by guys 😛 😛
    OG: 😛 seriously, I have tried it a few times and have got burnt……….

    all in all I have to say a good attempt 😀 like Monika says that does look appetizing 😛

    OG: 😛 thanku thanku!!!

    Ms Z will come running 😛
    OG: 😛 where are you ms. Z?????
    OG Bourdain 😆

    Or maybe Anthony would have to change his surname 😛 to yours 😀
    OG: 😛 yeah, that is a better deal 😛 😛 😛

    • June 1, 2009 6:23 am

      question :-who made the nice chapattis ? 😀
      OG: I did!!!! I mean “pillsbury” company made it……. we get a packet with 6 chappatis here for a dollar…. 😛 and all I need to do is heat them on tawa………. 😛 easy!!!!!!

      • June 1, 2009 8:50 am

        I had no clue!
        ready made chapattis? 😀

        thats cool! no wonder they are looking so perfect!:P
        OG: 😛 yeah, I can never make em…… very difficult

        • June 1, 2009 9:37 am

          LoL! I’ve tried them. I don’t personnally like them. Nothing can beat the homemade ones. 😉 BUT I guess if OG and his roomies attempted to make them at home, there would be a lot of problems. 😉 😛
          OG: 😛 😛 😛

      • June 1, 2009 10:10 am

        I was about to ask the same question 😀 😀

        OG: what is this, cross examination???????

  12. June 1, 2009 6:21 am

    geee… that tindora is my favourite subji !! with potatoes slightly burned !! and garam chapati !!
    OG: 😛 it is also my fav dude…… I go 30 miles just to buy this stuff…………. 😛
    ur making me drool in the morning…
    OG: 😛 LOL!!!
    psst : I have the same in my tiffin today !!! yay !
    OG: wah wah!!!!enjoy your lunch!!!!

    • June 1, 2009 9:45 am

      LoL Dhiren! That makes a change. Usually you have us drooling with your wonderful food. 😉

    • June 1, 2009 3:15 pm

      Oh I love slightly burned potatoes too!!!
      OG: 😛 me too!

  13. June 1, 2009 6:38 am

    Can I suggest a recipe for making atta maggie , my style ? 🙂 I manage to make a healthy and balanced meal out of a packet of Atta Noodles .
    OG: 😛 yes dost!!! please enlighten the whole world about your recipe…… I would love to know 😛

  14. June 1, 2009 7:14 am

    Congrats !!!!! but what happened after that??? u know…u know… 😀
    OG: 😛 LOL!!! nothing happened after that… fit body annu : P 😛 😛
    I have been surviving on this for 4 months now aliya 😛

    • June 1, 2009 9:35 am

      LoL! Vimmuuu, this isn’t the really OG writing these blog, it’s his zombie. 😛

      OG: 😛 😛

  15. June 1, 2009 10:46 am

    i gather from ur post u are surviving US just fine… and so are the vegetables that make it ur home!!
    OG: Yes!!! I think I will make a decent chef………

  16. June 1, 2009 11:00 am

    LOL!!!

    Whats the next on the menu?
    OG: 😛 another vegetable, same recipe 😛

    • June 1, 2009 8:47 pm

      How boring!! Try something like.. umm pulav or something 😀 uts even more easier! And please buy mixed cut vegetables from the super market 😀
      OG: 😛 I know how to make pulav 😛 😛

  17. June 1, 2009 11:38 am

    LOL on the “sophisticated oil” 😀

    OG: 😛 hehehehehe

  18. June 1, 2009 1:43 pm

    hehehe…. so u r learning well enuff to teach others, eh??
    OG: 😛 hehehe, I love spreading knowledge 😛
    LOL @ oil (refined, cultured or sophisticated) 😛
    LMAO at the torture methods… very effective tho! 😀
    OG: 😛 😛 LOL

  19. June 1, 2009 2:52 pm

    Know what, after coming to UK, I have realized that cooking is no rocket science. Its very simple if you understand the basics. All the Indian dishes have the same base masala, its the vegetable/pulse which give it a different flavour. Once you understand this, everything else is pretty much simple. 🙂
    You are getting there…. 😛 😛
    OG: 😛 Thanks man, yeah I am getting there 😛

  20. June 1, 2009 3:20 pm

    So you have now officially graduated to ‘teaching how to cook’ too!!! That was a very quick learning curve, have to say 🙂 Next in the process should be chapatis 🙂 And then you can have another post – ‘How to make chappatis in 10 mins’ 🙂
    OG: 😛 LOL…. hahahahaha, yeah, have to learn to make chappati now 😛 😛
    But your food does look yummy!!!
    OG: 😛 Thanku Thanku

  21. June 1, 2009 3:27 pm

    Btw, just saw that video! And can’t stop laughing 😆
    OG: 😛 classic mohanlal in film “boeing boeing”…….. 😛

  22. June 1, 2009 7:27 pm

    i dont believe this! u learnt to cook! Congratulations!!
    OG: 😛 Thanku Thanku!

  23. June 1, 2009 9:11 pm

    Oh, so you are a chef as well! WOW!
    You de man! 😉
    OG: 😛 yeah, I am the man!

  24. June 3, 2009 6:37 am

    All your cooking posts remind me of my own first cooking experiences, including the secret feeling that I could start my own special cooking classes 😉

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