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Kalippus and Quotations!!!

May 24, 2009

Kalippu: Problem/Disaster/Catastrophe/Issue

(To learn more about Trivandrum Slang Malayalam words: click here)

Ladies and Gentlemen, you are all going to learn about another “Trivandrum Slang Malayalam” word today: “Quotation”!!

And about how OG and his merry gang used to get a lot of it back in his college days.

In simple layman terms, it basically means a warning or in Hindi, it would mean “Supari”; a firm reminder that you need to toe the line or else get beaten up.

Asim’s laws of “Quotation Giving and Taking”:

  1. A quotation given to a friend is also a quotation to you.
  2. If the quotation giving folks don’t find the main target and find you, the ownership of the quotation gets automatically transferred to you.
  3. A quotation never comes in single numbers. You always get another free of charge. Something like buy one, get one free.
  4. A quotation is like a nuclear fission reaction. One quotation generates many more like in a chain reaction process.
  5. A quotation can also be given for totally unrelated reasons as well, like the Iraq war or cross border terrorism.
  6. A quotation on your head can only be solved by simply accepting the terms and conditions of it or by giving another quotation in return.
  7. A quotation on your head looses its value when you get beaten up or you buy them a bottle which they accept. To continue hostility, another quotation has to be given.
  8. A quotation which has not followed the natural path of either point 6 or 7 will continue to remain a quotation till eternity.

For OG personally, the period of 2001 to 2005 was “The Golden Age of Quotations”, when he was a mechanical engineering student in a great college called CET in Trivandrum.

Trivandrum was and still is a unique city in many ways. It has embraced the new but has never lost touch with the old. The gang culture is very strongly wide spread all across town; hence life was so much fun. Any person who had guts, could talk and had friends was a small time gunda. You will find scores of such idle people in so many places in Trivandrum whose sole aim in life is to pick a fight. Throw in the various parties (SFI, DYFI, ABVP, RSS, and KSU, CPIM) and around 20 colleges and you have the perfect recipe for Kalippu!!!!!!

As I found out, anything that we did, we ended up receiving quotations in and outside college. I had ample help in this department due to a couple of my friends whose only aim in life was to pick a fight. I still remember one of my seniors, Mr. A Benny (Mathew you know who I am talking about) always started his speech by “Aliya, Kalippu ayadae” (Dude, there has been a problem).

Over the course of four years, I found out that, on an average, the number of quotations increased with each passing year.

kalippu  

I also realized much later on, that the joy factor also increased and the tension factor reduced with each passing year.

I also had a unique set of friends who could turn any simple situation into a Kalippu one!! Don’t know how they did it with regular ease!!! I think it is ingrained in their genes!!! Don’t believe me; then let me give you a few examples.

Remember the golden rule; a quotation to a friend is unfortunately a quotation to you as well!!!

We go out for dinner, a pretty harmless act one would say. No, but unfortunately at the Hotel Mr. EB does not like the taste of his “Pepper Beef”, thus leading to Kalippu, thus leading to quotation with the hotel management.

We go to the beach, another pretty harmless act, but unfortunately Mr. JA thinks that the fishermen folks are making fun of his oversized belly, thus leading to Kalippu, thus leading to quotation. We learnt a valuable lesson that day. No more Kalippus with the strong fishermen dudes. They act first, and then think.

We are walking back to the college after a late night show, when a police jeep passes by, another harmless incident one would say. No, but at that correct moment, Mr. SNV thinks that he has to inject some humor into the proceedings and whistles at the Police jeep. Now Kalippu’s with normal people can resolved but as we later on realized, Kalippus with the police are pretty damn hard to solve, especially with Kerala Police (sensitive guys I say).

We are riding to Kovalam beach, a bunch of us to spend an evening there when a dude cuts across us at high speeds driving rashly. Forgive and forget, my grandfather would have said. No but Mr. AC who hates someone overtaking him starts on a wild goose chase on the Trivandrum bypass road until we manage stop that driver. We later on realize that the person who had driven rashly is a gunda who goes around by the name “Pattam Cittru”, thus leading to more Kalippus and Quotations.

We go to various malls and big shops to ask for donations for our cultural festivals. Many do donate generously; many do not. When people say no, you would expect us to leave without another word. But no, Mr. BM would threaten the manager that his dad is in the trade unions, thus leading to Kalippu and quotation for us and his entire family.

We go to another college for the cultural festival in a party of 15, another happy occasion one would say, but unfortunately the drunk 5 foot 2 inch Mr. PS thinks that he can cuss the 6 foot 3 inch massively built guy from their college and that he can take on 100 students as well, thus leading to more Kalippus and more quotations.

In college, if you are anti SFI, you get quotations from the “SFI block”. If you are pro SFI, you get quotations from the others and if you are strongly neutral, you are either ignored or you get quotations from all of them. As a junior, if you are found talking to a girl who a senior likes, you get a quotation on the spot to stay clear. As a junior, if the seniors find that you are becoming too big for your boots, you get a quotation. When ragged, if you act smart, you are not given a quotation but “the works” directly.

 And thus, we engineers spent four great years in Trivandrum. By the fourth year, almost every single day, we used to have some Kalippu or the other. Nowadays, I miss getting a quotation, miss the Kalippu; miss the fun and the tension involved.

Those were the days!!!!!!!

PS: Amma if you are reading this, don’t get shocked. Let me tell you that I was a naïve innocent bloke who always was at the wrong place at the wrong time. 😀

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52 Comments leave one →
  1. May 24, 2009 7:47 am

    me the first.. yay.. 🙂
    OG: yeah, you first!!!

    • May 24, 2009 7:53 am

      *sigh*
      Dhiren look at the fever that has spread 😛

      Kanagu, Dhiren and Crafty will be after your life 😀
      OG: 😛 😛 LOL!!!!! hahahahahaha, not to mention Badz and IHM as well………… 😛

      • May 24, 2009 8:02 am

        yes Indyeah .. I am going to live a hiding life for few days 😆
        OG: 😛 LOL!!!!!!!!!
        I am just wondering what if Dhiren or Crafty’s comments went into comment moderation or Spam queue 😐

        OG please check… they are too quick And confirm that I am the first.. LOL… 😆
        OG: Machi!!!!!!!! you are the first!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!! 😛 LOL!!!!!!

        • May 24, 2009 8:03 am

          LOL!!!

        • May 25, 2009 6:22 am

          I am not as free as you guys !!! being first on weekends… !!!

          dont you guys have anything to do !!!!!

          I had my inlaws over and was busy entertaining them… coz unless I do that… my wife wont let me see another day…

          and hey grow up !! whats with this first me yay ??? huh…

          kids all of you…

          p.s. crafty … we need to be more discreet…. see all these are catching up… !!! sigh !

        • May 25, 2009 5:55 pm

          Aww! Poor hitchy! 😐

          You hand to entertain the inlaws to keep wifey happy. 😆
          Aww…. 😛 🙂

          And yes i agree. All these people are so immuture with the “yay me first!”

          **Badz is also angry she didn’t come first 😦 **

    • May 25, 2009 10:00 pm

      Et tu, Kanagu. I thought you were the only sane person left. 😆

      • May 26, 2009 1:54 pm

        I am going to be the last commentor from now , so after my comment the blog author should close comments 😀 deal anyone? 😆

      • May 27, 2009 6:19 am

        awww… 😦 LOL solilo 😆

        kanagu wanted to keep this race alive 😀

  2. May 24, 2009 7:56 am

    ROFL!!OG
    OG: 😛 hahahahahahha
    laws of “Quotation Giving and Taking”: are so hilarious! 😀
    the first and second one are so phunny 😀
    OG: 😛 It is also true 😛
    LOL@golden age of quotations..
    And here I thought the Gupta age was the only golden age one studied in history… 😛
    OG: 😛 The golden age of india was the Gupta age 🙂 under samudragupta 😛

    Life must have been intersting with people like Mr Benny around 😀
    Reminded me of a friend of mine 😀
    OG: hahahaha…… they make life really interesting 😛
    Kalippu year chart? 😆

    So your ‘joy’ increased every year? :lol:do you need more joy?
    I can give a few ‘quotations’
    😀
    OG: 😛 have you not included me in that list???? 😛

    LOL@MrPS 😀

    PS:-*ahem*THE PS was interesting..I will tell Aunty what a great and truthful writer you are..
    you are my friend na?
    thats the least I can do *Indyeah gives OG an angelic smile*
    OG: 😛 I was kidding you know 😛 Need to maintain my decent status atleast at home 😛
    *cough**cough*

    Aunty OG only writes in an autobiographical vein
    OG: 😛 hope my mom does not believe this 😛
    NEVER fiction

    Kalippu!

    😆

    Bhagooo!!!!

    OG: 😛 Yes, I am also giving you a quotation and chocolates as well 😛

    PPS:-What does Pattam Cittru mean?
    OG: Pattam is a place in TVM… cittru I have no idea 😛 maybe becoz he drinks sprite a lot

    • May 24, 2009 8:09 am

      Quotation AND chocolates??

      You want me to feel nice before dyng??

      Eat all I want before I die?

      😆
      OG: 😛 quotation becoz you wanted one… choclates because I had promised you earlier 😛 😛 😛 yeah, eat before the warning 😛

  3. May 24, 2009 7:58 am

    going by that criteria,even the Dilli police is *ahem* quite sensitive then it seems 😀

    not that one would ever suspect it 😀
    OG: from what I have heard, delhi police turn the other way when crime is happening 😛

    • May 24, 2009 8:13 am

      exactly!!
      but the whistles of a college boy gets their goat…
      not a murder ..no sir never that..only faltu stuff is examined by them in detail 😀
      OG: 😛 LOL LOL!!!
      so chances of you being arrested /stopped/abused/if you

      a)whistled at them

      b)committed a murder

      c)were driving over the speedlimit

      d)are obeying the rules

      pssttt OIG here’s a hint…seeti and rules 😉
      OG: 😛 most states are like this 😛
      the first and last one gets them supremely interested 😀
      OG: 😛 okay madam, I will keep this in mind when I come to Delhi!!!!!!!

  4. May 24, 2009 7:59 am

    LOL Machi…. really superb… seems like I wasted my college life 😦
    OG: 😛 you must have lived a good life 😛
    LOL @ the PS… don’t try to be innocent bro 😆
    OG: 😛 Amma dont read that 😛 😀
    And I still couldn’t believe my eyes that I have left the first comment… 😀

    Dhirenbhai has got competition… now he fight back with vengeance 😆
    OG: LOL!!!!!

    • May 24, 2009 8:02 am

      LOL@you couldnt believe your eyes KAnagu 😀
      yeah we all have gotten soo used to seeing Dhirenbhai’s name as the first one 😀
      OG: LOL!!!

      • May 24, 2009 8:10 am

        yes Indyeah…. for goodness I have this weekend holiday 🙂

        my reader said 1 hour for this post.. thought today also I missed the first comment..
        OG: 😛 LOL!!!
        by god’s grace and my never give up attitude made this possible 😀

        ………..he he he………. turned into a winning speech LOL 😆
        OG: 😛 classic machi!!! what a speech 😛

        • May 24, 2009 8:17 am

          by god’s grace and my never give up attitude made this possible

          ROFL!!
          Kanagu!
          yeh toh Oscar speech hai!
          😆
          OG: not oscar, but definately aascar 😛

  5. May 24, 2009 8:01 am

    Did you ever get any personal quotation OG?
    OG: 😛 Many !!! but due to the public nature of this blog, I will refrain from commenting on this topic 😛
    😀
    *Indyeah rubbing her hands in glee thinking of the supari she has given for OG*

    PS:-and how DO you come up with these amazingly hilarious posts?

    I mean just a mention of a quotation post and you come up with an awesome one!!
    OG: as I always say, idle brain 😛 and so many personal experiences 😛

    • May 24, 2009 8:13 am

      Many !!! but due to the public nature of this blog, I will refrain from commenting on this topic

      LOL… pls share some harmless quotations you got OG 😀

      OG: 😛 yeah, I will…… 😛 at some point 😛 😛 😛 😆

      • May 24, 2009 8:15 am

        I second that 😉

        I am spamming 😀
        but what the heck 😛
        if not at OG’s post then where else?
        OG: 😛 yeah, if you dont spam, then who will……. 😛 dear Indyeah, you have every right too :P</strong

        Solilo's aatma is in me coz she aint here:D
        someone has to do her work 😀
        OG: 😛 you are doing a great job 😛

        I am missing her 😦
        OG: 😛 I will also miss her howlarious comments in this… only she can come up with classic comments!!!! more sololi-isms 😛

        • May 24, 2009 8:23 am

          <iSolilo’s aatma is in me coz she aint here:D
          someone has to do her work

          LOL Indyeah… 😆
          Seems to be spamming is a job… 😀
          Oh…. me too joined in it 😆
          OG: 😛 please spam on my blog, the more the better 😛 Thanks for all the comments Kanagu 😛

  6. May 24, 2009 8:03 am

    oh yes..i know him…and jesus you have made this into a proper research paper!!;-D
    OG: 😛 LOL!!!!!!
    And I have often been in the minority side and though i was never a victim of quotations..i was lucky to see it at close quarters….the funny part is many of the chaps on the otherside are greatest friends after college..(James…)..
    OG: 😛 you mean manimala????? 😛 😛 😛
    anyways..this brings a rush of memories…we really lived a movie life ..isnt…
    OG: certainly dude!!! Jai bolo, CET ki !!!!!!!!!!
    another feature of CETians esp from tvm…an old post…
    http://wetspark.blogspot.com/2007/10/scary-movie-part-vi.html
    OG: will read it dude!!!!

    • May 24, 2009 8:22 am

      yup..after college..Manimala and I used to relish a lot of old college snippets over breakfast (beer and idli-chutney) at a restaurant in mysore..;-D
      OG: 😛 Aliya, kollam machu!!!!!! college days were the best ever!!!!!!!

  7. May 24, 2009 8:10 am

    and dude..this Pattam Cittru reminds me of a very similar incident…
    it happened when we friends were travelling in a Omni and a ambassador went past scrapping paint of our car…needless to say 4 adrenalin high guy chased the car down..and out came 3 drunken mammolith guys…they took us to a car workshop in the outskirts of the city..Until then we never realised who the guy in it was…But as soon as he came out of his car at the workshop..around 10-12 guys working there stood up in attention almost like in a scene from a Bombay underworld gangster movie…and we realised the person was Vazhila Sankaran a famous goonda out there!! needless to say we ran for our lives even though he insisted that the workshop is his friend’s and he would repair the car for us… ;-D
    OG: 😛 LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
    Vazhila Sankaran, what a name 😛 😆 hahahahahahaha
    classic aliya!!!!!!! life was great fun those days!!!!!! I completely agree!!!!

  8. May 24, 2009 11:40 am

    Quotation??!!! Who coined this term?
    OG: 😛 I do not know Bones
    After reading your posts, I think my college life was pretty boring…The only interesting thing that happened was a guy getting stabbed in front of my eyes during DUSU elections…I didn’t see much because I ran as soon as I saw a knife nearing the neck of one of the candidates…
    OG: 😛 wah wah, what fun 😛

  9. May 24, 2009 1:49 pm

    😀 Mast story hai yaar . Your gang had the knack to get into trouble . Back in college we had named a similar group of guys , the Star Parivar . Not because they watched a lot K-soaps on Star TV , but because the teaches had marked their names with a black star . 🙂
    OG: 😛 LOL!!! star parivar….. LOL hehehehe, Thanks!!!! we had some good fun those days 😛

  10. May 24, 2009 2:47 pm

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! 😀 That post was the best. 🙂
    OG you’re getting better and better with making us laugh and get tummy aches. 😆
    OG: 😛 LOL!!!
    Do you know what? With listening/reading on what you and your friends got up to, you make me sound like an angel. 😉

    **Badrika Devi** 😛 😆
    OG: 😛 yeah, yeah!! you are……. 😛 a shethan in disguise of an angel 😛

  11. May 24, 2009 3:21 pm

    wow pretty nostalgic :)..reminded me of the gang wars in college…between the haves and have-nots… The ones who have girlfriends and flaunted it and the despo ones who did not :D…. had terms like itemgaran[the one who can do the actual fight while we only give out statements], samaan[weapons of mass destruction like cycle chains, small pen knives] which were used during inter-college problems..luckily not too many political activities in chennai’s art colleges,the only ideals which held together was our own principles[like getting a drinks treat from someone, hanging out in spencers n waiting for intros]…long live the spirit of college bonding…hic
    OG: 😛 😛 LOL!!!!! itemgaran….. LOL!!!! what do you mean by “luckily”…. politics was great fun 😛

  12. May 24, 2009 6:09 pm

    LOL @ graph

    ROFL @ all the examples 😀
    oh yes kerala police are sensitive i say! totally! 😛
    hahah but u learnt ur lesson with the fishermen atleast! 😛
    OG: 😛 that day we did 😛
    and dude, dont even begin on the SFI thingie 😀 hehehe u know what i mean!!
    OG: 😛 I know… sore topic 😛
    and the best part in the whole post? the last P.S.!!! ROTFL!! 😀 😀
    OG: 😛 LOL LOL!!!!

  13. May 24, 2009 7:50 pm

    LOL! You guys were so much fun!! We didnt have any kallipu sadly ** sigh** or may be they did but we girls never came to know 😀
    OG: 😛 that is more probable 😛
    My college time was super fun too 😀 😀

    U make me remember those days 🙂
    OG: 😛 best days of our lives!!!

  14. May 25, 2009 6:26 am

    OG… dont make me more nostalgic buddy…
    OG: 😛 LOL!!!
    you know in 3 years of college i attended 7 lectures !! all 7 in first year… !!

    in S.y Bcom and Third year I didnt even know where my class was…
    OG: 😛 classic dude
    from one faculty to another… one canteen to another and one fight to another was normal…

    it seems you had a whale of a time as well… !!! and makes me miss my time… !!!

    the way you have written is really funny and exactly why i keep telling you that you are a great story teller… !!
    OG: Thanks dude 😛 😛 😛

  15. May 25, 2009 7:51 am

    LOL..
    just like ur graph ur posts are becoming funny and funny..
    reminds me of my college days.. even without kalippus and quotations for me, those days were too good..
    OG: hahahahahaha 😛 😛

  16. May 25, 2009 10:02 pm

    I have nothing left to write. All the comments are taken. 😆

    I only know one quotation. ” ” 😛
    OG: 😛 we all know that 😛

  17. May 25, 2009 10:04 pm

    “Amma if you are reading this, don’t get shocked. Let me tell you that I was a naïve innocent bloke who always was at the wrong place at the wrong time. ”

    Ha..ha…ha…ha.. I am sure by now Auntie must know how naive you were in Kaalij.
    OG: 😛 😛 I still am an innocent bloke 😛 😛 😛 Aunty believs that 😛

    • May 26, 2009 1:30 am

      OG dont kid yourself! Mothers know everything 😉
      OG: 😛 LOL!!!

    • Solilo permalink
      May 26, 2009 6:29 am

      Yeah right! I wish Auntie posts a dhaasooo comment.
      OG: 😛 LOL…. I will ask her to read this comment 😛 😛 😛

  18. May 26, 2009 6:16 am

    ROFL …….After reading the post,i felt like i have seen the third part of inharinagar 🙂 …..In between u’r mother reads all u’r posts….wow 🙂 ……
    OG: 😛 LOL!!!! third part….. 😛 😛 yeah she does read em……. 😛 what is so wow about it? 😛

    • anishthomas permalink
      May 27, 2009 5:06 am

      @ wow……….thtaz cool man……..

      OG: 😛 LOL!!! yeah, that is maybe cool 😛

    • anishthomas permalink
      May 27, 2009 5:06 am

      @ wow……….thtz cool man……..

  19. May 26, 2009 9:07 am

    OG, You sure sound like you had a great time in college!!! So many tales out of college!!!

    As for your Mom – as Winnie says – Moms always know 🙂 BTW does your mother read your blog ?
    OG: 😛 yeah, we had some good times…. back in those days….. and yes, she does, though not regularly…. 😛

    • May 26, 2009 8:39 pm

      OG! You should get your amma to leave a comment. So we get to know what she things and feels. 😉 🙂

  20. May 26, 2009 2:04 pm

    😆 here here i am going to start coll in about 10 days time, hope mine as much fun as this 😉
    OG: endha college da??? have great fun dude…. life after college sucks!!

  21. May 27, 2009 4:53 am

    We saw glimpses of quotations and heard rumours of kalippu in my college too., but you definitely had a way more eventful college life OG! And OG whistling at the police in India, anywhere is an adventure of sorts 😆
    OG: 😛 LOL!!! it sure is asking for trouble 😛 but yeah, we were young and foolhardy 😛

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