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How to Fall a Girl?

May 20, 2009

Warning I: Malayalam/Tamil-centric experimental post!!!

Warning II: I am not a mimicry artist, so please excuse the vocals!!! and what you will hear below is not my real voice!!!

Long ago, exactly 3 years, 240 days ago, during my final year of college, my friend the inimitable Mr. AM who had unfortunately imbibed large quantities of a foul tasting, kick giving, hallucination inducing, osmosis resulting fluid commonly known as “Ethanol”, came up to me (with a sad face) and uttered a few words which became an instant hit in college.

He said (in English), “Ayitte, you have to tell me one thing. How to fall a girl”?

What he probably wanted to say was, “How do I sweep a girl off her feet”? And being the generous soul I was, I launched into a 15 minute theory session which he patiently endured. Soon after that session, he asked me just a single question (in English again):

“Dai, you the give advice when you the no girl”? And without waiting for an answer, passed out!!!!

Now, back to the present, I had high hopes when I first came here to America. After all, Joey Tribiani just had to say, “Hey Baby, How’re you doin”? A single line to break the ice!!!

Under normal circumstances, I cannot fake an American accent. The girls always shoot down my feeble attempts with their looks whenever I try my “John Wayne” accent.

But as we all know, first impression is the best impression!!!!

Hence I decided to try out our various different Indian accents first to see if they would work. Since I believe in logic, I decided to conduct an experiment where I would try out various possible accents to see if any would actually work!!

At first, I had to try out our very own mallu accent to see if it would work!!!! Hence at a “Taco Bell” outlet near my house, I tried the mallu accent.


(Hello madam, welcome to Los Angeles. If you love me, also I love if you)

Unfortunately, I got kicked out!!!!!

Then, I turned to the one and only Superstar in this planet, a legend who goes by the name, “Rajnikant”. When I met a beautiful girl in a restaurant near my house, I just had to try it out.

(hahahahahahahaha. forloop (I =0; I <100, I++) {Kanna, ne eppadi erukae, en vazhi thanni vazhi})

 When I said that, her expression did not change, probably because she did not even understand me and she went back and asked another waiter to serve us. Okay, so I had to cross off Superstar’s name from the list and the next name in the list was “Prakash Raj”.

The week following that, in a supermarket, I had to try it out.


(Chellam, nee eppadi erukka chellam. I…I…I…I…. love you da)

She also probably thought that I was mad and did not respond. Aha!! Since that also did not work out, I had to try Mohanlal’s accent!!! The next day, in a Starbucks store, I tried it.


(Hi, I am a guy, ordinary alias guy. Nammakku nyarannga vellam adichallo? Eppo pazhayade pole show ella, dialog maatharam ullu. Just for horror eh!!!)

Sheeesh!!! Even our lalettans accent did not work out. She looked at me as if she was looking at a dangerous convict. Then I had to try actor Srinivasan’s accent. So the following day in the park, I tried it.

 

(Hi babe. Nyaan ninne duura ne noki padikarrinnu. A distant study of she. How are you Maggi?)

 Apparently as I found out, the accent did not have a required punch. So hence I tried the great actor Jayan’s accent the next day in a garage.

 

(How are you? We may be porters, trolley pullers, software coolies, but we are not beggersssssssssssssssssssss.)

 She probably thought that I had escaped from a mental asylum and ran away. Next in the list was Suresh Gopi’s accent. So at a petrol pump, I used it.

 

(Hey Penne, Endhake undu visheshangallu. Just December that.)

 That also did not work out!!!!

I have been defeated every single time. What other accents can I use? I am confused!!!!

You the helppu, me the grateful!!!!! Maybe I should try SRK’s accent.

PS: The mallu way of saying “Ajit” is “Ayitte”

PPS: Mr. AM is still trying to “fall a girl” even now as you are reading this.

Edited to Add: Maybe I could use this accent:

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43 Comments leave one →
  1. May 20, 2009 6:03 am

    Me first. 😛
    OG: LOL

  2. May 20, 2009 6:19 am

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! That was funny even though you had to translate most of it for me. 😛

    my fav is “How are you? We may be porters, trolley pullers, software coolies, but we are not beggersssssssssssssssssssss”

    😉 😛

    OG: 😛 😛 😛

  3. May 20, 2009 7:09 am

    LoL! The Video is too good. 😛 😉

  4. May 20, 2009 7:55 am

    Mone Dinesha :P!

    Adipoli postaanu ketto :D!

    Kalakki!
    OG: LOL , thanks!

    • May 20, 2009 11:52 am

      Usha – I had a colleague who used to use these exact words!! Mone Dinesha 🙂 and Kalakki! 😆
      OG: many lalettan fans use it 😛

      • May 20, 2009 2:51 pm

        Oh is it? I had no idea – He then explained in what context ‘Kalakki’ was used 🙂
        OG: LOL

        • May 20, 2009 5:18 pm

          I have no idea what you guys are talking about! Please explain…

    • May 20, 2009 1:22 pm

      please translate that into english for us to understand !
      OG:
      Mone Dinesha : literally means “son dinesha” but basically it is used when you look dowb upon a person

      Kalakki : literally means “to mix” but in this usage means, “too good”

  5. May 20, 2009 9:48 am

    Ha ha ha! I have not this loud since a long time now.. alll the weird looks are because of you!

    LOL!

    May be you should use Surya’s style 😉

    Mundhinam partein ne 😉
    OG: 🙂 LOL….. I did not know something comic about his accent 🙂 so did not go for it 😛
    weird looks, in office?

    • May 21, 2009 4:11 am

      yep! I supressed “chuckles” many times and it came out real badly.. weird sounds that caused weird looks 😀
      OG: LOL hahaha!

  6. May 20, 2009 9:52 am

    ROFL……Jayan was the besstu, pinne the 1st one.

    And the utube video was a classic 😀
    OG: LOL!!! jayan is always thebest

  7. May 20, 2009 11:51 am

    ROFL!!! Can’t stop laughing even 15 mins after reading it 🙂 Daughter thinks I have gone mad 🙂 Loved all of it 🙂 OG, OG, I started laughing as soon as I saw the title by the way 🙂

    Do let us know if you do manage to ‘fall a girl’:)
    OG: ya will let you know if i fall a girl 😉 thanku thanku

  8. May 20, 2009 12:45 pm

    Ha ha…. amazing 😀
    oG: 😛

  9. May 20, 2009 12:59 pm

    The force is strong in this one , he strikes again . 🙂 Did you try Bihari accent ? “Maidam , I am bahutte phine . Would you care to dance , humre sang ? ” 😉
    OG: hahaha! i cannot fake a bihari accent dude!!! would have come out all wrong 😛 LOL

    • May 20, 2009 10:20 pm

      ROFL Kislay!!
      that was soo hilarious!
      I tried saying it just now ! 😆
      OG: same here. I also tried saying it 😛

  10. May 20, 2009 1:21 pm

    This is the winner… for the LOL challenge… I have not read or heard or seen anything more funnier than this… !!
    OG: LOL

    this is classicall dude… you must charge people ….

    this free ka laughter must not be given away… !!
    OG: laughter is best medicine!!!
    what say… I be your propoganda manager… and i keep the Rajni accent…
    OG: LOL
    This is truly ROFLOL….

    This is totally a class apart !!!!!!!!

    man you make us laugh like anything !!!
    OG: thanks dude!!!!!

    • May 20, 2009 2:52 pm

      Yes, this one is fantastic! OG you are getting better and better 🙂
      OG: 😛 😛

  11. May 20, 2009 1:21 pm

    and I am first after 10th !!! I am 11th !!! phew… reader cheated on me… !
    OG: LOL

    • May 20, 2009 2:53 pm

      yes, there is some problem with the reader – I saw this when I just came visiing to OG’s site 🙂
      OG: hahahaha

  12. May 20, 2009 2:42 pm

    OMG!!! hahahaha…..awesome!! the jayan one was a classic… i mean i cud already imagine the way the dialogue is said after just reading it by seeing beggerrsssss LOL
    the sureshgopi one was also good… just december that !! 😀 Also the Rajnikanth laughter lol classic!
    OG: LOL 😛 begggerssssssssss 😛 and yes just december that 😛 LOL
    Jesus, where did they come up with that T Rajender guy??? 😮 Is it legal to make such guys exist even???!!
    OG: LOL

  13. May 20, 2009 5:20 pm

    Hahahahahahahahahaha….OG…Kalakki…
    OG: learning mallu 😛 LOL

  14. May 20, 2009 5:22 pm

    You don’t need a cool accent to woo a girl – all you need is to get the girl to read your blog…Everybody loves people with a sense of humour and you have loads of it!

    OG: LOL 😛 yeah, maybe I should wear a Tshirt which has my blog url in it 😛

    • May 20, 2009 5:48 pm

      Ajit, you will fall one girl utterly butterly :D!
      OG: 😛 fingers crossed 😉
      As Saraboney says… no need to utter the words, just share the blog posts :D!

      The axe effect shall follow :P!

      Though you must be careful as to how you say axe too! The consonant “k” failing to register itself in articulation may well be the downfall, and you will the fall, not the girl :P!
      OG: LOL!!!! yeah, I will remember that 😛
      Please the excuse for such happy words 😀 I am the very entertained by this much wits in post 😛 :P!!!
      OG: thanku Thanku

    • May 20, 2009 7:01 pm

      I second sraboneyghose’s point… just show her the blog. half ur job is done 😀
      OG: 😛 LOL!!!!
      and lol what usha said (below) is a point…. axe effect with an accent wud go ‘akkksss’ effect?? hehehe
      OG: yeah, hopefully it would 😉

    • May 20, 2009 8:59 pm

      I second, Bones.

      So all you unmarried girls reading this blog… 😆

      Coming soon on Sols TV ‘The New Bacheloruuu’ starring OG.
      OG: What do you mean by New bachelor? I have always been one 😉

      • May 21, 2009 2:40 am

        There’s a show on ABC called Bachelor so I added new to it to escape copyright infringement. 😆 Sols TV doesn’t have much fund atm.
        OG: 🙂 LOL!!!! hahahahaha, paisa innu varam, nalla povum 😛

    • May 21, 2009 1:47 pm

      Aye Aye!! I agree! When you want to ‘fall’ a girl – just refer her to your blog 🙂

    • May 24, 2009 12:04 am

      LOL OG try that!! it will work, or a print of your dancing video.

  15. May 20, 2009 7:02 pm

    er… usha said (above) 😛 😛 heh
    OG: 😛 😛

  16. May 20, 2009 9:03 pm

    OG, Did you try Bhojpuri accent?

    Aye jhori, ee LA wa hain aur hum eehaan sophtwaar mein hain. Hamaar sang chalegi to tujhe Malibu beach ghumaaoon. Aa chalti kya?
    OG: 😛 LOL at the dialog…. no I do not wanna slaughter the accent 😛 LOL

  17. May 20, 2009 9:05 pm

    How does one distinguish your John Wayne and Jayan Vain accent? 😆
    OG: 😛 by my dress…. If I am wearing a green bell bottom with red shirt, it is “Jayan Vain” accent 😛

  18. May 20, 2009 9:11 pm

    For Srinivasan’s accent you just need to sing ‘Pavizhamalli poothulunja’ song. Lemme post the youtube link of the song.

    Whenever I watch this movie I fall off my couch. This guy is howlarious…song and his dance steps.
    OG: LOL good one Sololi!!!! great song 😛

  19. May 20, 2009 9:16 pm

    Next time someone asks you to ‘fall a girl’ tell him to push her off the cliff ala Baazigar style.

    Gosh! I am spamming. 😐
    OG: 😛 ennittu venam jail pogan 😛

    • May 21, 2009 6:28 am

      ROFL! what a suggestion! talk about making her fall… permanently… never to get up! 😛

  20. May 20, 2009 9:20 pm

    Oh my!!!!! 😆 😆 I just saw the last video. Who is that guy and what’s with his loose-motions, emotions, assumptions and condensations. Ha…ha…ha…ha….
    OG: 😛 he is the great T rajendran, father of little superstar simbu 😛
    OG: I don’t think I should visit your blog right after lunch. My tummy hurts with all the laughing.
    OG: 😛 LOL!!!

    • May 21, 2009 2:42 am

      Is Simbu the guy who married Rajnikant’s daughter? This Rajender guy should be sued for his ingleeeees. Commotions-Assumptions-Emotions. 😆

      OG: no, that is dhanush…… 🙂 simbu was the guy who was dating nayanthara last year 😛 now they have broken up 🙂

  21. May 20, 2009 10:18 pm

    ROFL!! OG!! what a post!!
    Hilarious dude! completely hilarious!!!
    OG: 😛 LOL Thanks!
    😀
    and I am wondering if you are trying to fall a girl? 😉

    girls love the sense of humour 😀
    and I am sure Ms Z is reading this post in some part of the world 😀
    OG: 😛 I am sure she is 😉
    you the trying accent bihari? 😀
    like charm it works 😆
    lines of Kislay do the trick…you be forever grateful 😀
    OG: Next time I will try it 😛

  22. May 21, 2009 11:56 am

    Lol…that was totally hilarious..
    the jayan number was the master piece..

  23. May 21, 2009 11:08 pm

    oh my… kalippu situation 😀

  24. May 23, 2009 10:27 am

    LOL Ajit 😆

    T.R. Rocks 🙂

  25. May 26, 2009 7:07 am

    No one can beat jayan in dialog delivery and also now one can replace sreenisvasan and his typical mannerisms ….meagi 🙂 …

  26. May 29, 2009 7:29 pm

    You are a crazy guy! 😛
    And who is this horrible animal in the video?? 😯

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