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Football Tales!!!

May 14, 2009

Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, I have an important announcement to make. We (the usually boring), uptight geeky software engineers have been playing football for the past three weekends without fail!!! Please note, that these are the same gentlemen who sit in front of a computer (at work) and a laptop (at home) all day/night long and whose idea of a workout is cooking dinner or walking from the building to the car.

How did I manage to bring about the change and convince them to actually play? Well actually it was pretty simple. All I needed to do was:

  1. Convince them that they were under the greatest danger of falling ill due to heart related problems thanks to all the cigs, coffee and booze.
  2. Convince them that they are on the road to perdition coz their body breadth was steadily increasing to reach the body length.
  3. Convince them that nubile American ladies dig Indian guys who do not have a punching bag as a paunch.
  4. Convince them that playing real football was much better than watching youtube.
  5. Convince them that kicking a football to relieve stress was much better than kicking a computer.
  6. Convince them that playing football actually improved their dancing skills so that they would not look like a buffoon in the club.

Thanks to my generous advice, 16 engineers decided to play (along?) in the vain hope that someday they would be able to see their toes. They came in all shapes and sizes. Some of them were literally as fat as sumo wrestlers, some as thin as bamboo sticks. Some of them were old and wanted to spend time away from the monotony of domestic life. Some of them were young and wanted to appear macho.

Some of them came dressed in full football gear with the studs, proper T-Shirts and shorts. Some of them came directly from office in full formals and some came in chappals. As I found out, I was the only one who had come to play barefoot!!!!

Every single person was excited as they had not done something like this for many years. The years started to shed from many a faces with all the senseless banter and pretty soon, we made two teams, marked the boundaries and started to play.

The first five minutes was utter chaos and the players were fully into it. It was like the charge of the heavy brigade!!!!! It looked something like this:


Every single person was scampering madly behind the ball; technical terms like “1-2-1 passing, strategy, centre forward, defense, mid” all were forgotten as every single person wanted to kick (touch?) the ball. There was no order and by the end of ten minutes, my team captain called for a short meeting. SG (our captain) was a crazy football fan who followed EPL religiously but pretty useless when it came to the actual playing. He decided upon the strategy, gave us all position to play in but soon after, everything was again forgotten!!!!

Pretty soon, in about 20 minutes, I noticed a difference in the players. The “enthu” had remarkably decreased. Some had stopped running and were merely walking in the direction that the ball took. Some of them kept shouting to the others to pass the ball to them when they would not even move a yard and some had merely resigned to their fate.


Pretty soon, in about 45 minutes, no one was running!!! Every single person was jogging except a few fit ones and that was when the “real fun” actually started and the normally drab geeks started getting angry. Some of them were limping; some of them were holding on to their pancreas and many had apparently decided to take a break by sitting on the boundary lines.


We “had” to literally stop play soon after as there was not a single fit person who could run and the final score was 5-4 in favor of the opposition.

My wise friend DS summed it up pretty well, “Kallichallo, athe madhi” (We played and that is good enough)!!!!!

And we spent the weekend nursing our wounds with an aura of two soldiers who had just won the Purple Heart…………..

31 Comments leave one →
  1. May 14, 2009 2:04 am

    nice ..great posters this would make..amazing
    OG: 😛 😛 Thanks!

  2. May 14, 2009 2:53 am

    Me second? Wow!
    OG: 😛 😛

    Ajit this is abs. hilarious. I am going to recommend this for the Lol challenge:D!
    OG: haha 😛
    I can just imagine all those grown men being worse than kids when all..ALL of them want to kick touch??, the ball. Must have been a sight for sore eyes, and a hurting stomach with all the ROTFLOL I would have done!

    Pakshe, good job, getting them out to play. And then again men will always be boys, on the field [anywhere actually :P!!!]
    OG: men will be boys 😛
    Played only for one day? Get them to workout first and then play. If you want I can be virtual coach :D! Have watched enough EPL and Champions League, and sat through endless discussions and lessons with the second born who is crazy about it :P! I have been inducted as a fan too!!
    OG: we have been playing for three weekend now and stamina levels have gone up
    Lovely Rofl post! Loved it!!!
    OG: Thanks!

  3. May 14, 2009 2:59 am

    And yes those player maps of the ground are just out of this world. Maybe we should also crown you Photoshop master, with Solilo and Chirag :)!!

    OG: Using GIMP….. 🙂

  4. May 14, 2009 5:11 am

    That is really funny and as usha says definitely an entry for the LOL challenge…
    OG: 😛 😛
    now now… this is giving me some idea !!!!
    OG: what idea?
    and as one of your mate mentioned.. we played and thats enough !! I agree.. for us workers… labourers and office goers to play is enough !!! the problem is of finding 16 people as you found out !!!!

    thats the hardest thing to do mate… !! cheers !!!
    OG: yes man, Had to convince them a lot!!!

  5. May 14, 2009 5:34 am

    You are an inspiration man . I am picking up squash . 🙂 And the illustrative diagrams were kick-ass , very very OG-esque . 🙂
    OG: 😛 squash? that must be interesting… I have never tried that out!

  6. sraboneyghose permalink
    May 14, 2009 5:45 am

    I can just imagine the ‘in-shape geeks’ panting around the football field! It must have been a hilarious sight! I love your graphics!
    OG: hehehe!!!! i am one of the in shape geeks 😛 😛

  7. May 14, 2009 6:00 am

    what do you call the team…? Geeky Godzillas (godzilla because of the of the sumo type players)
    OG: It was actually “Blackhawk” vs “Zelzah” and these are names of two streets 🙂 where we live 😛
    they came in all shapes and sizes…! and you went barefoot..! 🙂
    OG: 😛 😛
    this post ought to participate in the LOL challenge. 😀
    OG: hahahahahaha 😛

  8. chewmysambhar permalink
    May 14, 2009 6:26 am

    “Convince them that they are on the road to perdition coz their body breadth was steadily increasing to reach the body length.

    I can’t stoip laughing. I can imagine in my mind’s eye how the match would ve been.
    Bleddy helluva Brilliant graphics there.
    OG: LOL!!!! haha thanks!

  9. Quirky Indian permalink
    May 14, 2009 9:01 am

    Convince them that they are on the road to perdition coz their body breadth was steadily increasing to reach the body length.

    LOL…..but I’m surprised there were 9 goals!


    Quirky Indian
    OG: 😛 LOL!!!! the goals were reliatively big….. we wanted people to score 😛

  10. May 14, 2009 9:10 am

    It was absolutely hilarious. I wonder if you put in in more effort in making those awesome images up for us in this post than futbol itself. Lol. But, yeah, I guess 45 mnts were too much considering the sumos. hehe.
    OG: 🙂 hahaha
    A wonderful post. Oh I feel like playing now.
    OG: 🙂 what is stopping you 😛 😛
    Just to share my experience, we had polls yy. So there were no traffic at all and me n some of my friends thought of playing cricket after a loooong days. There came the Jurassic bat, went to the nearest Satya uncle’s shop (where we already have at least 50 ball’s payment due, its always like, next time :D) for buying balls. and after a full 2 hrs match, here I am, today, at the office, bought a volini for my shoulder that was just refusing to work naturally. Could relate to this fully.
    OG: I can also relate to this!!!
    Yes I am one of those geeks whose definition of a holiday is 15 hrs sleep 😀
    OG: same here!!!! sleep comes first!
    [Thanks to Usha ma’am for sharing this. ]
    OG: Thanku, usha Ma’am 😛

    • May 14, 2009 4:41 pm

      I like this comment.

      ” I wonder if you put in in more effort in making those awesome images up for us in this post than futbol itself. ”

      Ha..ha..ha.. definitely the first.

      OG: Now competition is tough. There needs to be a special category for just your entries in LOL challenge. 😆

      • May 14, 2009 4:51 pm

        Hey Solilo,
        I know competition is tough, so i added a few more images in that post…. more desification…… 🙂 check it out 🙂

  11. May 14, 2009 9:58 am

    LOL! LOL! LOL!
    OG: LOL LOL!!
    Man I can’t stop laughing!! And you remind me of my cricket experiences in college 😛
    OG: 😛 did you try for the indian cricket team?
    I was to field at the boundaries.. and… erm erm.. there were 4 4s in 2 overs 😉

    And well I was kinda injured u know 😉
    OG: 😛 hehehehehehe
    Ahem.. I fell everytime.. and the ball skipped me u know what I mean?
    OG: hmmmm!
    Too touchy about it still to talk abt it 😦
    OG: and you are talking about it here 😛

  12. May 14, 2009 10:20 am

    Definitely LOL challenge material!!! That was hilarious!!! You played ‘barefoot’?????? What were you thinking? Not that chappals are any better – but still – barefoot??????
    OG: barefoot is how I have have been playing fottball for ages, I cannot play with shoes
    lol at – “Kallichallo, athe madhi” 🙂 The ‘ayyo’, ‘rama’, ‘jesus’ graphic was fantastic 🙂 Religious diversity there too :)Can’t stop laughing!!!!
    OG: 🙂 hahaha yes religious diversity. I also thought of adding confucious and ahura mazda but thought that would be overboard
    You know – this reminds me of my team in London – we used to play 5-a-side football every Tuesday. I was exempt – coz I was pregnant then, not that I could have played otherwise:) But those guys(and girls) were so amazing – almost professional in their enthu – they would bring proper gear and everything and the rest of us would cheer 🙂
    OG: 🙂 yeah, I see kids here play with the perfect gears
    At this rate – we will have only OG posts for the LOL challenge 🙂 Choose the best of OGs challenge 🙂
    OG: 🙂 !! 😛

    • May 14, 2009 10:53 am

      good question..why barefoot? 😀 coz one can play better that way? 🙂
      OG: 🙂 yuppu, better control and better power

  13. May 14, 2009 10:52 am

    ROFL! 😀 OG!!What a post!
    and the diagrams are back! 😀 the quintessential touch of OG eh? 😛
    OG: LOL at “quintessential touch of OG: 😛 😛

    As Ushus has said men will be boys 😛 😛

    LOL@Purple heart 😀
    What was your state by the end of it?:lol:
    OG: I realized that I had so many muscles in my body as all of them were paining

    PS:-OG you sure are coming up with some hilarious posts 😀 itna time kahaan se mil gayaa OG? 😛
    OG: The 24 hour day!!! 🙂 you also follow it right? hehehehehehehe 🙂

    • May 14, 2009 12:45 pm

      I second all these question.. or may be my review triggered the creative juices 😀 😀
      OG: 🙂 I am thinking hard to make things funny! my ego you know 😛

  14. May 14, 2009 11:03 am

    Looks like that will be ur 1st and last Football match!!! 😀
    OG: 😛 nope, we have been playing for three weeks 🙂

  15. May 14, 2009 12:11 pm

    OMG………………i can’t stop laughing..ROFL….very hilarious and same time thought provoking post………..@ Kallichallo, athe madhi……….yeahh atleast u guys put some effort …… the graphics man….toooooo gud
    OG: 🙂 Thanks Aliya……
    we have been playing for 3 weeks and the people are actually getting better now…..

    • May 15, 2009 4:33 am

      been a long time i played football….wish i can drag my friends and frame a team here 2 🙂 …..

  16. Badz permalink
    May 14, 2009 3:03 pm

    OG! I love this post. All I can say typical office men. 😉 So why exactly did you go bare foot? Did you think you were going to play on the beach or something?? Or was the fact that you didn’t own a pair of trainers (sneakers) or football boots? 😛
    OG: 😛 I am not that poor 😛 I love playing barefoot……..
    Love the diagrams. It makes it all the more interesting (and illustrates you guys don’t know what you are doing and are EXSTREMELY UNFIT 😛 ). 😉
    OG: yes we are !!!!!
    P.S. I’m waiting for your “typical indian accent post” 😉
    OG: thinking of ideas…. will take time….
    P.P.S. Done the about me page. :=P
    OG: read that..

  17. May 14, 2009 4:43 pm

    The official sponsor for this post is Solilo’s Iodexeeeer balm. Iodexeeer maliye aur OG style futbaaal khelne chaliye
    OG: LOL!!!!!!!

  18. May 14, 2009 4:45 pm

    ” I am tired (panting)”. That must be the lazy bum YOU. 😆

  19. May 15, 2009 7:02 am

    lol..good post OG..
    those pics and the comments u wrote in them were very nice..
    all of them above have already mentioned all the good points..
    Keep posting such funny stuff 🙂

  20. May 15, 2009 10:08 am

    Superb post machi… really loved the explanations you have given were really hilarious… if you come back to chennai and playing means let me know… I will join 🙂 hope your adventures will continue for the times to come LOL 😆

  21. May 15, 2009 11:54 am

    LOL 🙂 This was fun and I am amazed you managed to find that many enthusiasts and whatever the outcome, such experiences are a lot of fun .. once we organised a Marathon and although everybody had aching calf muscles for days afterward, the experience was memorable !!
    The dialogues and labeling in your field diagrams are fantastic 😆

  22. May 15, 2009 5:10 pm

    we have one thing in common , I too end up playing barefoot 😀 oh! I just love the game and love it even more to play 😀

  23. May 17, 2009 8:57 am

    Hmmm..although I am not putting on any weight, but you have inspired me to atleast start exercising. 🙂

  24. Happy Kitten permalink
    May 19, 2009 10:34 am

    Too good.. Ajit.. please publish a book with all your entries…


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