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Wanted: Well Groomed Gentlemaaans Only!!!!

April 10, 2009

I have known Mr. X for seven years now. A friend of a friend initially, he did his engineering from another college in the Trivandrum and we used to meet up a lot during those days.

Mr. X was a simple guy; his world was small and his interests limited to food, movies, booze, cigarettes and cussing. I still remember the days, where we used to have only 10 Rs between us for lunch and we used to eat “Thattu Dosas” for seven rupees so that he could have his smoke with the remaining three.

He used to eat a lot and I could go on and on about his exploits……

For example, in a restaurant, he used order two chicken biriyanis (for him) upfront and that was for starters!!! His favorite dialog was “Machu, Korachun Kuudi” (Dude, just a little more) and he used that indiscriminately when it came to his above mentioned interests. A free spirited soul, I found it mildly amusing when Mr. X joined up for a software job and spent many days confined to a small cubicle chained to his computer. Work took me to Mumbai and him to Bangalore and phone calls soon after became sporadic. When I last spoke to him 6 months back, he told me that he had found his “Dream Girl” and talked about buying a house soon!!! And I was happy for him.

As fate would have it, I got an “out of the blue” call, last week that he would be in Los Angeles for a business trip!!!! So two days back, we decided to meet up for dinner and I reached his Hotel well in advance much before the decided time. (Yeah, that is why people call me “Punctuality Paramasivam“).

I knock on the door hoping that he has given me the right address and the door gets opened by a Martian whose face was covered in an unholy color of orange!! I was about to profusely apologize for disturbing that….err…..creature when it started talking in Malayalam and I then realized that it was my friend!!!

After that initial shock which took a few seconds to subside, I naturally inquired about that “Orange Color” which covered his face and that was when Mr. X started on a long winding explanation about how the Orange peel (or something like that) moisturizes the skin blah blah…………. Most of it went above my head but I heard words like foliates, blackheads, skincare, vitamins, etc (well, I still was under shock!!!).

Yeah, he did live in a Metro (Bangalore) but I never thought that he would turn into the metro-sexual guy!!! I then noticed the words “NO SMOKING” in bold on one of the hotel brochures and again, I asked him to throw some light into that matter as well………. I was surprised that he had checked into a non-smoking room!!!

Throw some light he certainly did!!! And started on another long winding explanation about carcinogens and on how cigarette contains about 35 known harmful chemicals in it and I unfortunately had to stop him mid-way.

I asked in disbelief, “Aliya, you knew that even before you started smoking right???”

Β To which he replied with a sheepish grin, “Ms. Y had given me an ultimatum 5 months back to quit” and that was when it all clicked into place for me!!!! He had changed all thanks to the “Dream Girl” and I had nothing to say…………

I had to wait for that stupid (semi gelatinous, long time taking) fluid on his face to dry out and I also noticed that Mr. X had taken grooming to the next level. After his bath, he pampered himself to a special concoction of deo, cologne and after shave!!!! I found it amusing again, especially since this dude used to wear the same jeans for months long back and grooming meant a two minute bath!!!!

Dinner also was different!!! We hit the local Mallu joint called Mayura and his eating was controlled and I got to listen to more advice on calories and fat content, body mass index etc etc !!

But the single biggest change was that he had stopped cussing!! That I could not believe!!!! Generally as a rule, the words which used to come out of his mouth contained about 80 % cuss words in it but now; it had gone down to a BIG ZERO!!!!!!

I read long back, that women generally don’t break a relationship as much as guys, because they have invested so much time and efforts in “Creating the Ideal Guy” and if they break up, that process would have to start from scratch once again with another poor soul!!!!

And yes, I have come to believe it now!!!!!! Best of luck to Mr. X and Ms. Y!!! I am happy that he has quit smoking………

Ladies and Gentlemen: Is it safe to assume that the above statement is correct????

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31 Comments leave one →
  1. Winnie the poohi permalink
    April 10, 2009 8:16 pm

    Holy shit! Poor guy! After marriage he wouldnt be able to keep at it and she would wonder how she got duped and so would he.. umm hopefully not !!
    OG: I think that it will be a good ending!!! as people tend to adjust after marriage!!!

  2. April 10, 2009 9:31 pm

    I think so man . Love makes you do strange things . But I will be damned if my lady love makes me change , if she can’t accept me for what I am then to hell with love and the associated BS . πŸ™‚

    OG: completely agree dost, love makes people do strange things…. coz Mr. X never seemed the type to change…. πŸ™‚ and best of luck on your quest for the “Elusive kind”…. πŸ™‚ πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

  3. April 11, 2009 3:52 am

    I wish my husband would change for me – sigh! But seriously, I feel sorry for Mr.X and I wonder if this ‘change’ will last…I’m doubtful because he seems to have changed his entire persona…I’m sure he will revert back to his old self once he’s married – marriage does that…The person you date is always different from the person you marry…

    OG: LOL about wanting your husband to change… πŸ™‚ Mr. X will live and Ms. Y will “learn”…. πŸ˜€ I am not sure that he would change back completely but I think that he will make things work…. πŸ˜›

  4. April 11, 2009 4:21 am

    I don’t think its a temporary change due to his lady love alone..bcoz as we age we also mature and change for good. Guess none of us are the same 20-21year olds now. I remember using the F word like a full stop/semi colon in my first blog wen i was 23. Now rarely do I use them, no lady love changed it just that I know cussing is not gonna do anything πŸ™‚ … I am sure Mr.X would have had to change and adapt for the corporate life too…So may be 10% of change reason can be attributed to the girl.
    OG: I hope you are right in Mr. X’s case….. πŸ™‚ but yes, you do have a point …. I am not the person I was in college…. damn the corporate lifestyle!!!!! πŸ™‚ πŸ˜› πŸ˜›
    but I admire his conviction to quit smoking…… i mean, he used to get thru 20 ciggies a day…. now down to 0!!!!!

  5. April 11, 2009 4:22 am

    Oh yeah me was ashwin’s classmate ..so the same college πŸ™‚

    OG: tell me a few ashwin stories…. πŸ˜› so I can blackmail him….. πŸ™‚ LOL

  6. April 11, 2009 5:06 am

    LOL! πŸ˜€ thats some story and some transformation! πŸ˜€ yeh kya hai? Personality change? Oh man! If this is love then one’s better off without it… I mean such drastic chnages ??Complete overhauling??

    and yeah smoking is bad for one’s health and also that one should eat healthy food but would have been much better had the guy figured this out on his own rather than Ms Y telling him to do all these things and he did them coz of an ultimatum! πŸ˜€

    love is strange and its recipients are stranger πŸ˜€

    :lol:@Punctuality Paramasivamβ€œ
    really? πŸ˜€

    • April 11, 2009 7:13 am

      Yes INdyeah, that was some transformation….. πŸ™‚
      Actually if we look at it, subjectively… he has actually improved as a boy friend….. πŸ™‚ yes, it was a complete overhaul, but he had the passion to do it….. πŸ™‚ Love is strange….. πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

      He quit smoking…. means are no problem… the ends are. important… πŸ™‚ He has quit, that is good enuf for OG!!!!!

      LOL about last line……. πŸ™‚ then I should really be strange as I have a crush every single month….. πŸ™‚ until the next one… hehehehehehehehehe

      Yes, I am very punctual…. why??? read my next post!!!! πŸ˜›

  7. April 11, 2009 5:08 am

    and Orange face mask? πŸ˜†

    ohkay!!

    I know I will get brickbats for this…but guys are fine WITHOUT being the metro-sexual man!
    who came up with this sad term btw? πŸ˜€

    • April 11, 2009 7:15 am

      it must have been a guy……. πŸ™‚ but personally, my grooming stops at the point where i ensure that i dont stink!!!!!! πŸ™‚

      i would hate to be the metro sexual guy……… πŸ™‚ naaah, not my line!!!!!

  8. April 11, 2009 6:43 am

    This is what a lot of people do…. I think its easy at the start… but as time goes…. these things start to fade…. what you naturally are … you are !!!

    Dont revamp everything… i can still agree and say its good he quit smoking… but it should be for health reasons and not some Miss reasons…

    Good luck to him…. and I hope i m wrong… but time wears off… a lot of things !!!

    • April 11, 2009 7:17 am

      yes dhiru bhai… good that he quit!!!!! πŸ™‚ yes a lot changes after marraige!!!!!! but yes, i dont have much experience in such mattera…….. πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

  9. April 11, 2009 9:50 am

    As Amitabh Bachchan sang, “Arre yeh jeena bhi koi jeena hai lalloo…!”

    πŸ™‚

    Cheers,

    Quirky Indian

    OG: ROFL Dude…. πŸ™‚

  10. April 11, 2009 10:29 am

    It happens ajit. Until the change is for good we have to accept it πŸ™‚

    OG: I hope that a few changes are for the good….. πŸ˜›

  11. April 12, 2009 2:19 am

    I agree with Bones above “I wonder if this change will last”.

    So for good/ bad she will keep giving instructions and he will follow her — or other way around. After effect of instructions + instructions + instructions = nagging + yelling. —

    soon the boyfriend or the girl friend will become the puppet or the robot — nah — i never want to be in relationship with somebody like that !

    OG: wise thoughts…..;) i hope things work out!!!!

  12. Indian Homemaker permalink
    April 12, 2009 2:34 am

    We have often complained, amongst friends, how some bachelors changed when they got married – less time for friends, restricted drinking, and if the wife shops for him, then a change in the way they dress.

    It seems their bachelor friends notice too πŸ™‚ Your friend might have changed (for better perhaps) but he seems to gloat in it … he is in love πŸ™‚
    OG: yes ihm, he is in love!!!!!!

  13. Indian Homemaker permalink
    April 12, 2009 4:50 am

    Please Guess and Win the 55 Words Fiction Correct Guess Award
    http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2009/04/11/55-words-she-waited-to-be-alone/

  14. Mystery permalink
    April 12, 2009 6:54 am

    Hi Ordinary Guy,
    first time here, Liked the post.
    be whatever reason, Mr.X has quit smoking and that will definitely do good for him. Right?
    OG: definite yes!!!!!

  15. April 12, 2009 3:19 pm

    This is called the transformation of the aliyaas, into as you say, gentlemaaans.. πŸ˜€

    Nice one Ajit… I can so understand.. we meet a lot of them in school, when they come back 5 years after school, completely different.. Lol!

    OG: lol…. aliyaaas into gentlemaans!!! wah wah!!!

  16. April 13, 2009 6:52 am

    Stories? Boy we can write a book on that. After our recent kochi visit he is fondly called as anjyo ash..When u do buzz him ask abt this and see him turn red, violet n other colors πŸ˜›

    OG: will do that asap man…. THANKS!!!

  17. Chirag Chamoli permalink
    April 13, 2009 10:48 am

    Love ke liye sala kuch bhi karega πŸ™‚ (People do anything when they are in love :))
    OG: πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

  18. Happy Kitten permalink
    April 13, 2009 11:53 am

    Wow! and he changed so fast! wish I could learn a few tricks … to at least make my better half stop smoking..

    but then this abrupt change may lead him to much more complications.. all the best to your frnd πŸ™‚

    OG: once a smoker, always a smoker and that applies, even if the person has quit!!!!! yes best of luck to him!!

  19. April 13, 2009 1:25 pm

    Wow…she must be some babe ;-o

    Hopefully this guy wont go back to his old habits once the honeymoon period is over…….

    hmmmm I for one won’t hold my breath ;-D
    OG: i have not seen her!!! lol…. yes nancy, i also hope the same!

  20. April 13, 2009 10:02 pm

    Love changes a lot of things I guess. πŸ™‚ And it turned out well for him!

    OG: πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

  21. Solilo permalink
    April 14, 2009 10:01 am

    People do all weird things in love. Wait for your turn too. πŸ˜†

    BTW this post never got updated on my reader. I just casually checked your blog link.

    OG: πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

  22. Solilo permalink
    April 14, 2009 10:01 am

    Vishu aashamsakal!

    OG: same to you !!! have a great year!

    • April 15, 2009 7:41 am

      Vishu kani question reply cheythu. Muaahahahahahahah *evil grin*

  23. April 14, 2009 11:21 am

    That was some change!!!! Well, love certainly makes you do strange things:) But yes, such a drastic change – wow!!! Lets hope everything ends well for the happy couple πŸ™‚

    So you are ‘Punctuality Paramasivam’, are you πŸ™‚

    And just as a matter of understanding – do all you guys go through the phase of wearing the same pair of jeans for months and not bathing until you have to???? Husband here, keeps talking about ‘those days’ πŸ™‚ in college πŸ™‚ And before you say something – I did not change him πŸ™‚ he decided to change for the better πŸ™‚

    OG: Yes, Smitha… let us hope for the best!!
    I tend to be puntual most times….. I dont like being late! and yes, all bachelors go thru that phase…. πŸ˜› and LOL at about last part….. πŸ™‚ hehehehehehe… i was about to ask that question!!! πŸ˜›

  24. April 14, 2009 1:28 pm

    Came here specifically to wish U a HAPPY VISHU!!!!!!!!!!!

    πŸ˜€

    OG: SAme to you as well nancy!!! and a (sheepishly looking) happy belated easter as well!!!! πŸ˜›

  25. April 14, 2009 8:03 pm

    LOL, till ‘they’ fall in love, ‘we’ are the perfect souls ! Once the whole commitment thingy starts happening, ‘they’ expect us to change !! Quite natural !!! Btw, is Mr.X peeing in the same way or Ms. Y suggested a new method for betterment??? πŸ˜€
    OG: i did not ask him that!! πŸ˜› will do that next time!!!!

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